Almost a week on Bed Rest and I am happy to report that I have not yet lost my mind or went postal on my Family/Friends. I have a lot more time to "think" about things... not just the babies, but life in general. Situations like this really put things into perspective. You realize who your truest friends are and the family that you can count on the most for support. Its amazing to know we have such great people in our lives that are willing to put their things on hold to help us out... whether it's for a morning shift or an overnight stay somewhere for Ava.
I've had a few rough days. I'm starting to think that although Doctor's Orders are bed rest and only up to pee/shower could end up hurting more... I feel my body already getting weak from the lack of additional inactivity. I wasn't the person who got up every morning and ran, but we sure do stay active. The times I do get up to Pee or walk downstairs are hard on my body. I feel so heavy and I feel like my muscle mass is dwindling down. A part of me wonders how can I keep these babies in when I can barely carry around my own weight?! Which... last week I weighed in at 199.9lbs. I was ecstatic! I've been getting close to the 200 mark but haven't touched it yet... although my excitement was shot down when Carol told me she had to round it up on my chart to 200. Ugh. With Beebs I was 209lbs when I delivered her. I gained 55lbs with her. Although I was little heavier to start this pregnancy, I've been pleased with the gain. Especially since I'm not the best eater. All I want are JUICY cheeseburgers, with cheddar cheese, crispy bacon, crunchy lettuce, bbq sauce, and perfectly seasoned French fries. Since being at home, I have been eating healthier. Hubs has been grocery shopping every couple days so if all you have are "healthier" options, then that's what you eat! I've also noticed I'm pooping a little more consistently and not as violently thank goodness!
My typical day: Lay in bed until my "medicine" alarm goes off at 10am. Get out of bed, sloooooooooowly, pee, take the Indomethican & a Prenatal and give myself a Heparin Injection in my stomach. They are surprisingly not that bad. I was shaking so bad on my first time that I didn't think I could do it. I found out quickly that the needle has to be at a 95* angle in order to go in easy without force. Or else I have to poke myself again bc I don't want to jab it in there. I have little "blood dots" all over my belly. I feel really proud of myself when no blood or medicine comes out of the injection site when I take the needle out. When that occurs, I know I WON'T have a blood spot! I'm trying to perfect the Heparin Shuffle over here. I hear lots of people end up with horrible bruising and after almost a week, I have one semi-noticeable bruise and just some other off color areas... I'd like to pat myself on the back considering I have given myself 13 shots in the last 6 days. I'm ready for the hard drugs!!! (just kidding Mom)
After the meds I hop in the shower... thank god I still have this luxury. It's amazing what hot water does to the Soul. I'm only going to wash my hair 1-2 times week. Thank goodness for dry curly hair! I only shave once a week (Tuesdays), so the other times I just sit on the built in stool in my Mom's shower and soak it all up. After that I put on one of 3 outfits (tank top and yoga capris) and head downstairs to eat. Hubs has been making me breakfast. I plop down on the leather recliner, feet/legs propped by pillows and lay back. I only sit up to eat and read Ava a book. Once I'm downstairs, I'm down there until bed time... but I will occasionally go back upstairs to nap if Beebs is awake. There is no way I would be able to sleep with her downstairs playing. I've been drinking more water than I can count... I have this oversized cup with a lid, that looks just like a "hospital cup" with a pink straw sticking out. I'm not sure how many ounces it holds, but I fill it up at least a dozen times a day. Which in turn makes me have to drag my big pregnant ass to the toilet to pee about 2 dozen times.
Hubs went back to work at the office yesterday & today. We've got Ava covered with friends & family so he's able to get back into the swing of things. He has been absolutely amazing since all this happened. Of course any Husband will step, but I feel like he has gone above & beyond for me. Last night before bed he thought I was standing too much while changing so he made me lay down and got everything ready for me. I truly am lucky. He's been tested a lot these past years with "In sickness & in health". I had some pretty serious complications after Ava and he never bat an eye and did everything he could to help get me on the road to recovery. He is always so optimistic and faithful and I really think that helps me through my rough patches. There are times when I start crying, or get upset and he has nothing but encouraging words. I'm sure he's scared and possibly worried, but he'd never let me know. He takes the burden for us both. <3
Speaking of amazing, Swiss just brought me back some Breakfast take out. It was absolutely delish! She also has been great since being home on Summer Break from Capital University. She adores Ava and the two of them have so much fun together. Brooke is great with her & I know she'll make a great mother some day (some day as in really far far far far away someday- plus with all my pregnancy "issues" she may be too scared hahah!) She has literally supported me through the poopy times and great times.
Beebs is outside playing with Tina (Jesley's sister), Hubs is at work and Swiss & Spencer went to run errands. I'm upstairs on my bed typing this and for once I feel ok being alone. Lately when people leave the room or leave the house (just to go outside) I start immediately feeling sad & emotional. It's almost like a feeling of abandonment, which is dumb bc no one is abandoning me. I just need to get a grasp on everything and get a routine together. Everyone has lives and although mostly everyone has put theirs on hold to help us, I still can't help but feel selfish a lot of the time. When I see Ava outside the window running and playing I feel like she should be doing that with Me. Hubs went to a movie late Saturday with his friend and a part of me felt jealous the minute he left.... but why!??! He deserved a break... he is so exhausted from working all day, taking care of Ava and a wife who can't get herself her own apple. I hope these feelings are normal, bc this is NOT like me whatsoever. I'm assuming as long as there aren't any negative changes at tomorrow's appointment, I'll probably have to stay on Strict Bed Rest (SBR) until at least 32weeks... this is my guess. My doctors won't look that far ahead, but that's what I'm going with.
I know I can make it... I know this will get easier and this is what's best for the babies. Rewind to this time last year... Hubs, Beebs & I were in Puerto Rico on our first family vacation. It was an AMAZING trip. It's crazy how much life changes in a year. We celebrated Ava's first birthday, got pregnant, sold our house and moved to Ohio. Who would have thought? I know a year from now, I will look back on this time and have two more healthy, beautiful daughters added to our family and I will laugh at how crazy I was! This is all temporary and what's needed.
xoxo
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