34w 3d!!!
Ok so its not Sept yet, but I think its safe to say there won't be any August babies born. Unless of course they both just pop out of my hotbox while I'm typing this and say "SURPRISE"!!!! All along I wanted these girls to be September babies. I'm just astonished that we've made it this far. From getting the not so good news back in May and wondering if these girls could make it to viability to now thinking of an induction...its the biggest blessing! There were times where my faith was tested.. I even had a moment around the time I got the news. I just kept thinking... if these babies aren't going to make it, please just let it happen now. I'm already so attached and my heart will be unmendable if it happens any further down the road. It's also the reason why we didn't talk about names, or plans, or our future as a family of 5. Slowly I started to pray harder and lift my worries up instead of keeping them 100% inside. It's been a LONG journey these past 4+ months... not just with the babies, but with the move & life itself. Marcellus & I have definitely been tested in ALL arenas and the light at the end of the tunnel is bigger and brighter. I look forward to the day when Hubs and I are sitting on our own back porch drinking wine, watching our girls play and say... "remember when..." it makes me smile just to think about it :)
We had our BPP on Monday with the Doc Appt after. We've been taking Beebs with us. She is such a trooper getting up early to be at a 7:30am appt. Although she will be at home for our next appt (Tues) with Mrs. Rosler :) Love her & her family!!
The BPP went great and was super fast. Both babies passed quickly and scored their usual 8/8. There didn't seem to be any concerns so we headed up for the appt. I was really looking forward to this appt. This is when my restrictions were to be lifted!! I'm now at 214lbs, which surprises me that it doesn't go up higher each week. I think I've been gaining at most a pound a week over the last few weeks/month. Hubs is 6'4 225lbs and we joked that I'm only about 10lbs less than him and he has 5inches on me... I said I can't believe I'm 5'11 214lbs. He looked at me and said... You're like a running back!! LOL we laughed so hard!
Dr. M was on today. He's the one that cracks me up. He was pleased with everything so I asked him our plan for 37w (I ask this at EVERY appointment). He said that we will need to setup an induction date for that time frame. He asked the nurse when 37w is and I chimed in immediately "SEPTEMBER 18th"... O, he said... it's obvious you're counting down. lol. I guess I am. He wanted to wait until my next appt to schedule it just in case the babies come before then. So as he was wrapping up the appt I asked about my restrictions. The sad news came... He didn't want me lift the restrictions bc I was going to stop taking the Procardia on Weds. Since I contract so much and my Cervical Length is next to nothing he was worried that stopping the meds, on top of being active could set me into Labor. He followed it up with... twins at 34weeks is good, but twins at 36/37weeks is even better. I can't disagree... I just feel so ready. I felt like my ego got shot down a little,but I respect his decision... although, I really haven't been listening.
I've been doing more Mommy duties for Ava since its just her and I. Hubs usually comes home around the time Ava lays down for a nap (ok, I lay down too). I'm not trying to put myself in labor, but if I stood up right now and my water broke.. I WOULD NOT BE MAD! I stopped the Procardia officially Tuesday night at 10pm. We stayed the night at my dad's house. I figured this would be the last time in awhile we'd probably be able to stay over there. Surprisingly I didn't notice any changes. In fact, 3 days later.. I still feel normal. Nothing more. Ava enjoyed the time with my Dad & Stepmom as did we. They live about 20mins away, which isn't far, but my Dad works crazy hours again so its hard to pin down a time to see them. Plus, I hadn't been getting out much prior too.
Thursday's BPP went well also. I think we were there 1hr max. When we got home, Hubs needed to get into the office so Beebs & I hung out. We watched about 4 episodes of Elmo- which entails recording Sesame Street but fast forwarding to the Elmo portion which is usually the last 15-20mins. She refuses to watch anything before that... we also watch Minnie "Ca House", which is code for Mickey Mouse Club House. We usually get outside for some fresh air before lunch/nap. Then we eat and lately we've been napping in my bed. I figure its the least I can do bc of how busy I anticipate I'll be once the girls get here. We both sleep so soundly next to each other all cuddled up. Sometimes I even catch her reaching out for me to make sure I'm still there. Every day she melts my heart a little more.
Today Hubs asked if I wanted to go to Giant Eagle with him to get some Hamburger Buns & Misc items. I jump at the chance to get outta the house, even if it is to a grocery store! I put on a cute strapless maxi dress and felt like I should at least be going to a grocery store on Rodeo Drive or something. I told Ava we needed to freshen up her hair and she needed to get Daddy. About 5mins later she walks in the bed room with Daddy and she kept saying "frash... frash". I had no idea what she was saying. So what I usually do is stop her, and have her say it again and then show me what she wants... well she took me into the bathroom, pulled out her stool, stood on it in front of the sink and pointed to her hair product and said "frash"... she was trying to tell me to FRESHEN HER HAIR. O my lord this girl is a genius! I know she's almost 2years old (22 months today!!!!), but how does she remember this stuff and link it all together?! Her vocabulary astonishes me everyday... of course she's not in Daycare for me to see if she's within normal limits, above or below, but I feel like she has to speak better than most. My little Beebs <3
Last night Hubs & I slept alone... its not what you think lol. I just could NOT get comfortable no matter what. So I told him I was going to sleep in Brooke's bed. He shot up and said "whats wrong, why can't you sleep, something is wrong". I told him I was fine and just couldn't sleep. It was about 5:30am at this point and I had been awake since about 4am. I went into Brooke's bed and I'm pretty sure I immediately fell asleep. I washed all of Ava's NB- 3months clothes today. That girl had A LOT of stuff. I reorganized everything and its ready to go. I consolidated the larger sizes (6m+) and organized those bins a little as well. I wouldn't say I'm nesting... its just something that needed done. Those particular sizes have been in bins since Ava was 6m old. So I needed to do an inventory check anyways. Everything is still in great condition. Washing the clothes, I still feel in denial of whats about to happen. When I picked up each shirt or onesie I thought immediately of a time I remembered Ava wearing it. Everything is so tiny, I can't imagine two more tiny babies will be wearing those clothes soon!
We have a few more large items to still get, but everything is pretty much ready to go. We even FINALLY have names decided on! It's not a big secret, but I'm going to wait before I post it on here. If you're DYING to know, just ask :)
Hope you're all enjoying your Holiday Weekend!!!
xoxo
p.s. I'm hoping Swiss makes a surprise appearance home tomorrow, I miss her too much!
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Let's get it on!!
I don't know why I torture myself, thinking this is going to be a hot & steamy post. Well I guess we can get naked, but there has been NO ACTION in this baby capsule for over 13weeks... I've been on Pelvic Rest since we got the news. Can you imagine? I know there are some women who couldn't care less about booty popping, but that's not the case for me! Even if I were allowed to, I don't know how it would be physically possible. I'm sooooo swollen down there that it would be like trying to fit a kids arm into those pool swim floaty things that go over their biceps to keep them from drowning. Not a good look.
Not to mention I can't even see what it looks like down near the Hotbox. For all I know I could have a troop of boy scouts camping out down there trying to earn some wilderness badges. Thank goodness for the Schick Electric Shaver that Brooke found me. It has a guard on it so I can blindly trim up the area without worry of cutting myself up. I do still have to trim up the sides with a regular razor to get a clean shave and that is quite the ordeal. It takes me 5mins per side. I have to kinda move my body so my belly adjusts to the opposite side, but I can't spread my legs far enough or else my wishbone will crack in half. All this... for what? Doctors don't care, nurses don't care, my hubs isn't getting any action so he doesn't care, I don't see it so why do I care? Maybe its just a vanity thing where I feel like I have my shit together if I'm edged up or something. Last thing I want is for someone to say during labor "O my gosh, here comes the baby and she has so much hair!! Wait... o no, that's not the baby. Never mind... she has no hair, that is not hair from the baby- I spoke too soon." After I get out of the shower I'm always excited to see my masterpiece, only to be disappointed. It looks the equivalent to someone giving Beebs some clippers and asking her to shave a dog. It's a mess and probably looks worse than before I started.
I used to always wax myself and then when that became impossible with Ava I went and had it done. I haven't this time around and with everything going on I never made time for it. So I guess we just have to suffer. I'm starting to get a few red stretch marks on my belly. At first I couldn't tell if they were from the Heparin Injections or what... but nope, they are stretch marks. I know someone reading this will think I'm vain for worrying about stretch marks, but I don't care. I don't want them. They are tremendously tough to get rid of and I don't want them!
Sometimes when Hubs and I are getting ready for bed I pretend to "strut" around like I'm about to give him a peep show or something. He stares at me until I get winded and have to sit down ask him to take my pants off or until I take my shirt and bra off and enough crumbs fall to the floor to feed a small village. It always ends up in us laughing and him telling me to get my pregnant ass in the bed lol. If we get cleared for "action" next week he said he still doesn't want to participate bc he's afraid it will stimulate something immediately. I agree, but I tell him that depending if I have a vagina birth again or a c-section it could be anywhere from 6-9weeks until we can really get our groove on. He started laughing, which at first just sounded like a silly laugh and then it was kinda creepy and then he followed it up with a high pitch squeal and said something like... ahhhhh... shit, owell. I don't think he expected that lol... when its all said and done it could damn near be half a year!
I also have this really attractive pubic type hair on my stomach. This happened with my pregnancy with Ava, but it showed up a lot faster this time around. I'm afraid to even really touch it with a razor in fear that it will grow back even more fierce. It really looks hideous and at times it pokes through my stretchy shirts. Even Beebs, not even 22 months old will lift up my shirt and point to the "hair" along with my protruding belly button that she has dubbed a "nose". My stomach is also splotched with yellow/blue bruises from the Heparin Injections. I guess I can't complain with those because most people get horrendous blue/purple bruises that cover their entire stomach.
My feet are also being neglected... I've always treated myself to 1-2 pedi's a month. Not so much now. I obviously can't really leave the house, there are pressure points that can stimulate labor and we've been strapped for cash. I am however, going to FINALLY cash in my Mother's Day gift from Hubs and get my Mani/Pedi next week sometime. He'll have to stay there with me, but owell. I am getting my feet rubbed for an hour whether it puts me in labor or not!!!!!
My boobs are getting bigger by the day & firmer. I can tell there is some milk starting to brew in there. Thank goodness I bought some really supportive nursing bras. I pretty much live in them now. However, I can't find my bra extender that adds a couple inches to the width across my back. I guess I"ll have to buy a new one! I'm curious to see what my belly will look like post two babies and even more curious to see how my hotbox holds up. If I tear I fully intend to ask one of my docs to stitch me up a few times on the inside while they're at it... They are getting paid enough for a little pro-bono work!
Not to mention I can't even see what it looks like down near the Hotbox. For all I know I could have a troop of boy scouts camping out down there trying to earn some wilderness badges. Thank goodness for the Schick Electric Shaver that Brooke found me. It has a guard on it so I can blindly trim up the area without worry of cutting myself up. I do still have to trim up the sides with a regular razor to get a clean shave and that is quite the ordeal. It takes me 5mins per side. I have to kinda move my body so my belly adjusts to the opposite side, but I can't spread my legs far enough or else my wishbone will crack in half. All this... for what? Doctors don't care, nurses don't care, my hubs isn't getting any action so he doesn't care, I don't see it so why do I care? Maybe its just a vanity thing where I feel like I have my shit together if I'm edged up or something. Last thing I want is for someone to say during labor "O my gosh, here comes the baby and she has so much hair!! Wait... o no, that's not the baby. Never mind... she has no hair, that is not hair from the baby- I spoke too soon." After I get out of the shower I'm always excited to see my masterpiece, only to be disappointed. It looks the equivalent to someone giving Beebs some clippers and asking her to shave a dog. It's a mess and probably looks worse than before I started.
I used to always wax myself and then when that became impossible with Ava I went and had it done. I haven't this time around and with everything going on I never made time for it. So I guess we just have to suffer. I'm starting to get a few red stretch marks on my belly. At first I couldn't tell if they were from the Heparin Injections or what... but nope, they are stretch marks. I know someone reading this will think I'm vain for worrying about stretch marks, but I don't care. I don't want them. They are tremendously tough to get rid of and I don't want them!
Sometimes when Hubs and I are getting ready for bed I pretend to "strut" around like I'm about to give him a peep show or something. He stares at me until I get winded and have to sit down ask him to take my pants off or until I take my shirt and bra off and enough crumbs fall to the floor to feed a small village. It always ends up in us laughing and him telling me to get my pregnant ass in the bed lol. If we get cleared for "action" next week he said he still doesn't want to participate bc he's afraid it will stimulate something immediately. I agree, but I tell him that depending if I have a vagina birth again or a c-section it could be anywhere from 6-9weeks until we can really get our groove on. He started laughing, which at first just sounded like a silly laugh and then it was kinda creepy and then he followed it up with a high pitch squeal and said something like... ahhhhh... shit, owell. I don't think he expected that lol... when its all said and done it could damn near be half a year!
I also have this really attractive pubic type hair on my stomach. This happened with my pregnancy with Ava, but it showed up a lot faster this time around. I'm afraid to even really touch it with a razor in fear that it will grow back even more fierce. It really looks hideous and at times it pokes through my stretchy shirts. Even Beebs, not even 22 months old will lift up my shirt and point to the "hair" along with my protruding belly button that she has dubbed a "nose". My stomach is also splotched with yellow/blue bruises from the Heparin Injections. I guess I can't complain with those because most people get horrendous blue/purple bruises that cover their entire stomach.
My feet are also being neglected... I've always treated myself to 1-2 pedi's a month. Not so much now. I obviously can't really leave the house, there are pressure points that can stimulate labor and we've been strapped for cash. I am however, going to FINALLY cash in my Mother's Day gift from Hubs and get my Mani/Pedi next week sometime. He'll have to stay there with me, but owell. I am getting my feet rubbed for an hour whether it puts me in labor or not!!!!!
My boobs are getting bigger by the day & firmer. I can tell there is some milk starting to brew in there. Thank goodness I bought some really supportive nursing bras. I pretty much live in them now. However, I can't find my bra extender that adds a couple inches to the width across my back. I guess I"ll have to buy a new one! I'm curious to see what my belly will look like post two babies and even more curious to see how my hotbox holds up. If I tear I fully intend to ask one of my docs to stitch me up a few times on the inside while they're at it... They are getting paid enough for a little pro-bono work!
Are we there yet?
33w 2d!!
I just can't get enough of writing my gestation at the top of these posts. As always, I still cannot believe I have two healthy little girls still inside me cooking!
Yesterday's appt was great. They are all at 7:30a here on out. Yuck! But at least we get in and we get out. We got full measurements in addition to the standard BPP ultrasound. This time both babies passed immediately and they both got 8/8. That makes me happy. The Sonograhper is super nice. I always enjoy her, but now I can't remember her name. We always talk about personal things and I love her beside manner. We had to bring Beebs with us to this appt, so Hubs had to occasionally walk out of the room with her because she wanted to go walk. She is such a good little girl. Majority of the time she just stands at the edge of the bed and plays with my feet. I think since it was so early she was still tired and just out of sorts.
The tech started the measurements quickly and luckily both babies cooperated bc it went rather fast. Baby A is so far down that I thoght the tech was about to stick the ultrasound wand down my pants. She had me move them down further. I was certainly glad I shaved the night before. Last thing she wanted was for the Amazon to spring forward once I moved my pants. I think even hubs felt nervous for her! I can't remember the heartbeats (pregnancy brain lately), but they were consistent. The next important factor... their weights... Baby A was measuring at 33w 6d & 4lbs 9oz!!! Baby B was measuring 35w & 5lbs 3oz!!!!!! Both are amazing! At this gestation they should be about 4lbs and of course the measurements could be off by up to 6oz, but those are still great numbers. There is obviously a big jump now from BA to BB size wise. 3weeks ago they were exactly the same and although BA's weight is still great, its about 10oz off from BB. I remember Monday's appt and Dr. G said this is the time where one baby doesn't grow as much as the other bc they run out of room and depending on the results of the u/s, it could determine if they want the babies out sooner. So of course I did feel a little alarmed by this. The tech called up to Dr. K with all her info and he said he was happy and it was ok to send us home. So I guess even though its clear BB is bypassing BA we are still good to go. I wonder if they'll schedule another growth ultrasound or just watch my fluid levels? I'm only supposed to get full measurements every 3w, with 36w being the next. They might be born by then!
After the u/s we headed back to Deda's. Hubs made Ava & I a yummy breakfast. Then while he did some work from home Beebs & I watched Disney Jr and cuddled on the couch. We both went up for a long nap. When we woke up we went to visit my Grandma Valentine for a little bit. Its been so long since I've seen her! While we were out my Aunt Jo from MI texted me and we headed over to my Grandma Grimsleys for a little bit. Totally unexpected. My Grandpa is still in the hospital recovering from surgery this past Weds. He had an infection that started from a skin graph and it was spreading. It seems they got it all, but he'll still be there a few more days. At my Gma's we ordered pizza, chicken & jo jo's from Italos- my all time fave. My mom came over after work and my Aunt Kristin and her family was there. It was so NICE to be out of the house. Of course I sat the whole time, but I love being around busy people. It makes the time go by so fast. Around 7pm I was really starting to feel the effects and told Hubs it was time to go. Even Ava was so tired that she snuggled with me on the couch without a peep coming from her. We all went to bed early last night!
I had Hubs take my picture because I was feeling cute :) I put effort (a lil lol) into my appearance for the day so I didn't want to forget it. Most days I'm greasy faced, frizzy haired and in the same type of outfit with crumbs and a juice stain on my shirt. Also, another reason is a good friend of mine, Heather from back in Austin was pretty adamant on seeing an updated pic. She's also pregnant, and when I say pregnant... I mean PAST DUE. She is trying every natural way to induce herself so they can meet their precious little girl "E". I can only imagine how she's feeling right now with her due date come and gone and still very pregnant. At least everyone is healthy and she's getting close to her natural labor. I just hope little E comes before she has to be switched to the Hospital. Don't get me wrong, I am all for pain meds and Hospitals, but every woman should have the labor & delivery they want with or without medical intervention. I pray the next few days go smooth for her and she has her new daughter soon!
I'm starting to "cheat" a bit... not really following doctor's orders. I know I know... these babies need to keep cooking. I'm not trying to pull the "woe is me" card, but heck... I've been through some things these past 13w and I'm ready. If they need to stay put for their health then so be it. I'm just exhausted. Although I know the minute they are born I will miss the continual acrobatics in my belly. I'm starting to get the nesting feeling I had with Ava. I'm wanting an alone date with Hubs, wash clothes, organize things and get plans in place for their arrival. I'll be 34w on Weds and if I'm not mistaken I will be taken off Strict Bed Rest (which has become Modified Bed Rest prescribed by world renowned Dr. A. Stroud) I just want to enjoy these last few weeks (or days) as a family of 3. My family has a little Baby Pool going on. Only one person said I'll make it to Sept, the rest have dates this weekend and next week... I personally say September and on an "odd" day. No sure why, but we shall see!! I stop taking Procardia on Weds as well... this is the Medicine that is keeping my contractions "at bay" even though I still contract anywhere from 2-4 an hour regardless of what I'm doing. So even though I say Sept babies, a part of me thinks that they will be here 48hours after I stop the meds. Of course it doesn't mean they will, but if I have this much action while on Meds I can only imagine how I'm going to feel when I come off..... oy.
xoxo
I just can't get enough of writing my gestation at the top of these posts. As always, I still cannot believe I have two healthy little girls still inside me cooking!
Yesterday's appt was great. They are all at 7:30a here on out. Yuck! But at least we get in and we get out. We got full measurements in addition to the standard BPP ultrasound. This time both babies passed immediately and they both got 8/8. That makes me happy. The Sonograhper is super nice. I always enjoy her, but now I can't remember her name. We always talk about personal things and I love her beside manner. We had to bring Beebs with us to this appt, so Hubs had to occasionally walk out of the room with her because she wanted to go walk. She is such a good little girl. Majority of the time she just stands at the edge of the bed and plays with my feet. I think since it was so early she was still tired and just out of sorts.
The tech started the measurements quickly and luckily both babies cooperated bc it went rather fast. Baby A is so far down that I thoght the tech was about to stick the ultrasound wand down my pants. She had me move them down further. I was certainly glad I shaved the night before. Last thing she wanted was for the Amazon to spring forward once I moved my pants. I think even hubs felt nervous for her! I can't remember the heartbeats (pregnancy brain lately), but they were consistent. The next important factor... their weights... Baby A was measuring at 33w 6d & 4lbs 9oz!!! Baby B was measuring 35w & 5lbs 3oz!!!!!! Both are amazing! At this gestation they should be about 4lbs and of course the measurements could be off by up to 6oz, but those are still great numbers. There is obviously a big jump now from BA to BB size wise. 3weeks ago they were exactly the same and although BA's weight is still great, its about 10oz off from BB. I remember Monday's appt and Dr. G said this is the time where one baby doesn't grow as much as the other bc they run out of room and depending on the results of the u/s, it could determine if they want the babies out sooner. So of course I did feel a little alarmed by this. The tech called up to Dr. K with all her info and he said he was happy and it was ok to send us home. So I guess even though its clear BB is bypassing BA we are still good to go. I wonder if they'll schedule another growth ultrasound or just watch my fluid levels? I'm only supposed to get full measurements every 3w, with 36w being the next. They might be born by then!
After the u/s we headed back to Deda's. Hubs made Ava & I a yummy breakfast. Then while he did some work from home Beebs & I watched Disney Jr and cuddled on the couch. We both went up for a long nap. When we woke up we went to visit my Grandma Valentine for a little bit. Its been so long since I've seen her! While we were out my Aunt Jo from MI texted me and we headed over to my Grandma Grimsleys for a little bit. Totally unexpected. My Grandpa is still in the hospital recovering from surgery this past Weds. He had an infection that started from a skin graph and it was spreading. It seems they got it all, but he'll still be there a few more days. At my Gma's we ordered pizza, chicken & jo jo's from Italos- my all time fave. My mom came over after work and my Aunt Kristin and her family was there. It was so NICE to be out of the house. Of course I sat the whole time, but I love being around busy people. It makes the time go by so fast. Around 7pm I was really starting to feel the effects and told Hubs it was time to go. Even Ava was so tired that she snuggled with me on the couch without a peep coming from her. We all went to bed early last night!
I had Hubs take my picture because I was feeling cute :) I put effort (a lil lol) into my appearance for the day so I didn't want to forget it. Most days I'm greasy faced, frizzy haired and in the same type of outfit with crumbs and a juice stain on my shirt. Also, another reason is a good friend of mine, Heather from back in Austin was pretty adamant on seeing an updated pic. She's also pregnant, and when I say pregnant... I mean PAST DUE. She is trying every natural way to induce herself so they can meet their precious little girl "E". I can only imagine how she's feeling right now with her due date come and gone and still very pregnant. At least everyone is healthy and she's getting close to her natural labor. I just hope little E comes before she has to be switched to the Hospital. Don't get me wrong, I am all for pain meds and Hospitals, but every woman should have the labor & delivery they want with or without medical intervention. I pray the next few days go smooth for her and she has her new daughter soon!
I'm starting to "cheat" a bit... not really following doctor's orders. I know I know... these babies need to keep cooking. I'm not trying to pull the "woe is me" card, but heck... I've been through some things these past 13w and I'm ready. If they need to stay put for their health then so be it. I'm just exhausted. Although I know the minute they are born I will miss the continual acrobatics in my belly. I'm starting to get the nesting feeling I had with Ava. I'm wanting an alone date with Hubs, wash clothes, organize things and get plans in place for their arrival. I'll be 34w on Weds and if I'm not mistaken I will be taken off Strict Bed Rest (which has become Modified Bed Rest prescribed by world renowned Dr. A. Stroud) I just want to enjoy these last few weeks (or days) as a family of 3. My family has a little Baby Pool going on. Only one person said I'll make it to Sept, the rest have dates this weekend and next week... I personally say September and on an "odd" day. No sure why, but we shall see!! I stop taking Procardia on Weds as well... this is the Medicine that is keeping my contractions "at bay" even though I still contract anywhere from 2-4 an hour regardless of what I'm doing. So even though I say Sept babies, a part of me thinks that they will be here 48hours after I stop the meds. Of course it doesn't mean they will, but if I have this much action while on Meds I can only imagine how I'm going to feel when I come off..... oy.
xoxo
I look tiny on the left, but its an illusion! The pic on the right really shows what I'm working with!!
Monday, August 19, 2013
False Alarms & See ya laters
32w 5d!!!
So... the emotions are finally at bay, or at least for now. This weekend was quite emotional yet again. What is it about the weekends? Is it that I'm surrounded more by family and able to relax more and I just start thinking?! Who knows...
Last Thursday was a great appt. That night, my Swiss and I stayed up pretty late watching this week's episode of Pretty Little Liars. She left for her Sophomore year of College the next day so it didn't matter how exhausted I was... I was determined to stay up! She had me curl her hair while we watched it. I haven't done her hair in awhile and although she was going to be moving and sweating the next day she needed to look extra fab. I'm actually in her room right now blogging from her bed :)
I woke up Friday morning at 5am to take my Procardia. I knew Brooke would be getting up soon to hit the road with my parents so I made sure not to fall asleep. Around 5:20a I didn't hear any movements so I went into her room to make sure she was awake. She was and so we laid in her bed talking and laughing about pranks we should have pulled, two words- bubble wrap. She got up and got dressed and I laid in her bed & we talked while she got dressed. Around 6:30am we said our good byes and she hit the road for the 2hour drive south into Columbus. At the time, I wasn't very emotional... probably bc it was so early and my eyes were burning. I took my hot cup of coffee up to my room and fell back asleep. It wasn't until Saturday that it hit me she was gone... her room is so empty, our bathroom is clean (haha!), her car isn't in its parking spot in the garage and of course she wasn't anywhere to be found. Beebs started asking for her immediately and would walk in her room and look around. She's a smart girl- she knew she wasn't here. Normally she plays with all of Brookes jewelry that's left out... but no, she just looked at it all. As if wondering why so much stuff was missing.
I felt good most of Saturday, but I realized I felt different down in my woman regions. I noticed more wetness then what I'm used too. I originally chalked it up to discharge. It kept coming through out the day. I never had a "gush" of water or anything like that. But my undies were consistently wet, not soaked, but wet. I mentioned this to Hubs the night before and as always he was on board to go to L&D and call the doc. I decided to give it another day. After dinner I was talking to my mom about it, probably bc I KNEW she would insist that I call and maybe I just needed that extra push? So I did... Dr. K was on call and it sounded like he was at a nice dinner or something with his wife. He said I needed to come in to check its not Amniotic Fluid. He also semi scolded me when I told him it went on a few days saying "for being one of our more educated patients I'm surprised you waited this long", that's also his way of joking! Hubs finished giving Ava a bath and I finally got around to packing my hospital bag. That was also overwhelming... to think this COULD BE IT. We don't have any premie clothes (hopefully we won't need them) and the only outfit we have that isn't a hand me down from Ava wasn't washed (my mom got it for us) and we still only have one named decided on. We still have our Infant seat in storage and have yet to buy the 2nd... so everything was just hitting me at once. I managed to keep my composure (barely) and we left for the Hospital.
Whew... that was the FASTEST medical visit I ever had. Especially for being unplanned. Dr. K was actually at the hospital and NOT out to dinner with his wife. He came to my L&D Triage room immediately. I wasn't even officially "checked in" yet. Not even a minute after getting the babies heartbeats on the monitor he came in and summonded me to end of the gurney to spread eagle. "keep coming down" is what he kept saying... o my gosh... do you know how hard it is to scoot south while on your back and 75lbs of watermelons are balancing on your stomach. I felt like if I was going to scoot anymore I would fall off the bed. In reality I probably only moved in an inch, but my body took it as if I just did 30 burpees after 10 turkish get ups... omg. Insert the prehistoric metal speculum and he started taking cultrures. First up- amniotic fluid, NEGATIVE. Woohoo! He also did two more cultures to make sure I didn't have a bacterial or yeast infections, NEGATIVE for both! He did an internal exam and I was nervous... the last person to give me one was the Resident doctor and it felt like he was fishing around for a lost earring or something. It was much different with Dr. K and I imagine it has to do with experience. He said I was still 1-2cm dilated, yay! No increase from 28w, my cervix did feel soft, but he was happy. We'll just say I had a lot of pregnancy juice goin on.
He cleaned up and told me to scoot back on the bed. Really... I just spent my whole life scooting to the back and now I have to scoot back up towards the head?! It seemed a little easier. He rolled in a portable ultrasound machine to look at the girls himself. He tooks some snaps and said they looked good and the fluid looked balance. He had me pee in a cup and not even an hour after setting foot in the PARKING LOT, we were headed home! This was our first false alarm... I know its better to get checked and be in the clear then be stubborn and not go... hopefully, no more false alarms!
Sunday was a good relaxing day. My mom met a gf for dinner so Marc cooked for Beebs & I. I got up to check the chicken since it was my recipe. I took the glass lid off with a pot holder, but still managed to burn my thumb. I put the lid in the sink so I could run cold water over the burn and... SHATTER... the glass top busted into a million pieces. How could I be so dumb?!?!? Marcellus ushered me away and said he would clean it. I immediately started to cry. Why?! WHY!??!? These emotions are out of control and looking a little soft over here!
Today was a good, yet emotional day as well. We had a great appt and both babies passed their BPP very quickly and scored 8/8. Things are still looking great with them. I gained 1/2 a pound from last week... that is very shocking to me! I know I lost a pound over two weeks but I find it odd that I only gained .5lbs back. Owell- I'll take it. On Thursday we get full measurements of the babies so we'll get to see their estimated weight/length. I cannot wait! Dr. G said that depending on how the babies look, will depend on if we need to do anything sooner than the 37w mark. TTTS is pretty much ruled out, but I guess when you hit this gestation one baby tends to run out of room faster and the other can keep growing. So we're hoping for no negative changes since the last 3 weeks! I'd REALLY prefer a september baby... Speaking of August babies...
Today is Swiss' 19th Birthday! I think this is the main reason why I've been so quick to cry this weekend, because she's not here. I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing help she was from May-August. She loves Ava more than I can describe and took care of us both without thinking twice. She sacrificied most of her summer and opportunities to make money working so she could take care of us. Ava is beyond attached to her and I know she misses her already. I don't know what we're going to do without her... I think I was in denial she was leaving and never really put a plan in to place. Of course my mom is still able to help out alot on her off days and she goes above and beyond so all is not lost... just the Swiss part :( We'll make it through... I only have at most 4weeks and some change. We'll get through this... I hope!
I feel like there were some other things I needed to talk about, but its getting late... I'm tired and can't rememeber. I will leave you with this though... I accidentally pooped on the bathroom floor tonight. I'm not really sure how it happened so don't judge me, but there it was just sitting there staring at me... good times! Goodnight!
xoxox
So... the emotions are finally at bay, or at least for now. This weekend was quite emotional yet again. What is it about the weekends? Is it that I'm surrounded more by family and able to relax more and I just start thinking?! Who knows...
Last Thursday was a great appt. That night, my Swiss and I stayed up pretty late watching this week's episode of Pretty Little Liars. She left for her Sophomore year of College the next day so it didn't matter how exhausted I was... I was determined to stay up! She had me curl her hair while we watched it. I haven't done her hair in awhile and although she was going to be moving and sweating the next day she needed to look extra fab. I'm actually in her room right now blogging from her bed :)
I woke up Friday morning at 5am to take my Procardia. I knew Brooke would be getting up soon to hit the road with my parents so I made sure not to fall asleep. Around 5:20a I didn't hear any movements so I went into her room to make sure she was awake. She was and so we laid in her bed talking and laughing about pranks we should have pulled, two words- bubble wrap. She got up and got dressed and I laid in her bed & we talked while she got dressed. Around 6:30am we said our good byes and she hit the road for the 2hour drive south into Columbus. At the time, I wasn't very emotional... probably bc it was so early and my eyes were burning. I took my hot cup of coffee up to my room and fell back asleep. It wasn't until Saturday that it hit me she was gone... her room is so empty, our bathroom is clean (haha!), her car isn't in its parking spot in the garage and of course she wasn't anywhere to be found. Beebs started asking for her immediately and would walk in her room and look around. She's a smart girl- she knew she wasn't here. Normally she plays with all of Brookes jewelry that's left out... but no, she just looked at it all. As if wondering why so much stuff was missing.
I felt good most of Saturday, but I realized I felt different down in my woman regions. I noticed more wetness then what I'm used too. I originally chalked it up to discharge. It kept coming through out the day. I never had a "gush" of water or anything like that. But my undies were consistently wet, not soaked, but wet. I mentioned this to Hubs the night before and as always he was on board to go to L&D and call the doc. I decided to give it another day. After dinner I was talking to my mom about it, probably bc I KNEW she would insist that I call and maybe I just needed that extra push? So I did... Dr. K was on call and it sounded like he was at a nice dinner or something with his wife. He said I needed to come in to check its not Amniotic Fluid. He also semi scolded me when I told him it went on a few days saying "for being one of our more educated patients I'm surprised you waited this long", that's also his way of joking! Hubs finished giving Ava a bath and I finally got around to packing my hospital bag. That was also overwhelming... to think this COULD BE IT. We don't have any premie clothes (hopefully we won't need them) and the only outfit we have that isn't a hand me down from Ava wasn't washed (my mom got it for us) and we still only have one named decided on. We still have our Infant seat in storage and have yet to buy the 2nd... so everything was just hitting me at once. I managed to keep my composure (barely) and we left for the Hospital.
Whew... that was the FASTEST medical visit I ever had. Especially for being unplanned. Dr. K was actually at the hospital and NOT out to dinner with his wife. He came to my L&D Triage room immediately. I wasn't even officially "checked in" yet. Not even a minute after getting the babies heartbeats on the monitor he came in and summonded me to end of the gurney to spread eagle. "keep coming down" is what he kept saying... o my gosh... do you know how hard it is to scoot south while on your back and 75lbs of watermelons are balancing on your stomach. I felt like if I was going to scoot anymore I would fall off the bed. In reality I probably only moved in an inch, but my body took it as if I just did 30 burpees after 10 turkish get ups... omg. Insert the prehistoric metal speculum and he started taking cultrures. First up- amniotic fluid, NEGATIVE. Woohoo! He also did two more cultures to make sure I didn't have a bacterial or yeast infections, NEGATIVE for both! He did an internal exam and I was nervous... the last person to give me one was the Resident doctor and it felt like he was fishing around for a lost earring or something. It was much different with Dr. K and I imagine it has to do with experience. He said I was still 1-2cm dilated, yay! No increase from 28w, my cervix did feel soft, but he was happy. We'll just say I had a lot of pregnancy juice goin on.
He cleaned up and told me to scoot back on the bed. Really... I just spent my whole life scooting to the back and now I have to scoot back up towards the head?! It seemed a little easier. He rolled in a portable ultrasound machine to look at the girls himself. He tooks some snaps and said they looked good and the fluid looked balance. He had me pee in a cup and not even an hour after setting foot in the PARKING LOT, we were headed home! This was our first false alarm... I know its better to get checked and be in the clear then be stubborn and not go... hopefully, no more false alarms!
Sunday was a good relaxing day. My mom met a gf for dinner so Marc cooked for Beebs & I. I got up to check the chicken since it was my recipe. I took the glass lid off with a pot holder, but still managed to burn my thumb. I put the lid in the sink so I could run cold water over the burn and... SHATTER... the glass top busted into a million pieces. How could I be so dumb?!?!? Marcellus ushered me away and said he would clean it. I immediately started to cry. Why?! WHY!??!? These emotions are out of control and looking a little soft over here!
Today was a good, yet emotional day as well. We had a great appt and both babies passed their BPP very quickly and scored 8/8. Things are still looking great with them. I gained 1/2 a pound from last week... that is very shocking to me! I know I lost a pound over two weeks but I find it odd that I only gained .5lbs back. Owell- I'll take it. On Thursday we get full measurements of the babies so we'll get to see their estimated weight/length. I cannot wait! Dr. G said that depending on how the babies look, will depend on if we need to do anything sooner than the 37w mark. TTTS is pretty much ruled out, but I guess when you hit this gestation one baby tends to run out of room faster and the other can keep growing. So we're hoping for no negative changes since the last 3 weeks! I'd REALLY prefer a september baby... Speaking of August babies...
Today is Swiss' 19th Birthday! I think this is the main reason why I've been so quick to cry this weekend, because she's not here. I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing help she was from May-August. She loves Ava more than I can describe and took care of us both without thinking twice. She sacrificied most of her summer and opportunities to make money working so she could take care of us. Ava is beyond attached to her and I know she misses her already. I don't know what we're going to do without her... I think I was in denial she was leaving and never really put a plan in to place. Of course my mom is still able to help out alot on her off days and she goes above and beyond so all is not lost... just the Swiss part :( We'll make it through... I only have at most 4weeks and some change. We'll get through this... I hope!
I feel like there were some other things I needed to talk about, but its getting late... I'm tired and can't rememeber. I will leave you with this though... I accidentally pooped on the bathroom floor tonight. I'm not really sure how it happened so don't judge me, but there it was just sitting there staring at me... good times! Goodnight!
xoxox
Friday, August 16, 2013
Dear Ava,
You are the most amazing little girl!! Daddy & I couldn't be more happy to be your parents. You're almost 22 months now and you have become so much older in a short time! The things you know, the way you talk, the way you jump and skip around the house. Where did this come from?! I know Daddy is super smart and mommy is, well... she's fun (lol) but I'm amazed at what you learn new every day.
You have been great through this whole experience. I know you are used to it just being you, Daddy & Mommy, but it seems lately like you know we are about to add some more "scissors" (sisters) to our family. You are going to be an unbelievable adoring big sister! You are such a caring little girl already... I'm pretty sure you can tell on days when Mommy doesn't feel well. You always seem to give me extra hugs and snuggles. The way you run to daddy when he comes from work just melts my heart. The way you pick up something I drop and if it looks suspicious you just call it "medicine" and hand it to me. You are quite the busy little bee and you HATE to be inside for more than an hour or two. You love to be "out shide" running around and playing, especially with Deda.
I wish we could have spent this summer doing more family fun activities, but things got a little hectic. We weren't expecting me to have so many complications and a lot of times I feel guilty that I can't do things with you like we used to. When we lived in Texas we would go for a walk every day when I picked you up from Daycare. You, Daddy & I would go shopping, go play, have wrestling matches in the game room and have so much fun. I don't feel like you've missed out on a fun summer because thankfully we have some pretty amazing people in our lives that adore you and that have been helping us out. I just wish I could be a part of all the fun stuff you've done so far. I know you're probably too young to even remember this, but its still something I will never forget.
I promise that I will make it up to you when your Sisters are born and I'm recovered. Daddy & I love you with every ounce of our being. You are the first symbol of our Love for one another and our family will be growing and loving even more when the girls are here. The day we found out we were pregnant with you was one of the best days of our lives... then came your birth! Even more amazing that Daddy & I were blessed enough to be able to grow our love into another little being. I look at you through out the day and just smile. You are the greatest gift we could have ever received. I'm sure you don't grasp what's going on, but thank you for being the cutest, nicest and easiest child we could have asked for! You make our lives so easy and we couldn't imagine one single moment without you!
We love you so MUCH!!!
xoxox
Mommy & Daddy
You have been great through this whole experience. I know you are used to it just being you, Daddy & Mommy, but it seems lately like you know we are about to add some more "scissors" (sisters) to our family. You are going to be an unbelievable adoring big sister! You are such a caring little girl already... I'm pretty sure you can tell on days when Mommy doesn't feel well. You always seem to give me extra hugs and snuggles. The way you run to daddy when he comes from work just melts my heart. The way you pick up something I drop and if it looks suspicious you just call it "medicine" and hand it to me. You are quite the busy little bee and you HATE to be inside for more than an hour or two. You love to be "out shide" running around and playing, especially with Deda.
I wish we could have spent this summer doing more family fun activities, but things got a little hectic. We weren't expecting me to have so many complications and a lot of times I feel guilty that I can't do things with you like we used to. When we lived in Texas we would go for a walk every day when I picked you up from Daycare. You, Daddy & I would go shopping, go play, have wrestling matches in the game room and have so much fun. I don't feel like you've missed out on a fun summer because thankfully we have some pretty amazing people in our lives that adore you and that have been helping us out. I just wish I could be a part of all the fun stuff you've done so far. I know you're probably too young to even remember this, but its still something I will never forget.
I promise that I will make it up to you when your Sisters are born and I'm recovered. Daddy & I love you with every ounce of our being. You are the first symbol of our Love for one another and our family will be growing and loving even more when the girls are here. The day we found out we were pregnant with you was one of the best days of our lives... then came your birth! Even more amazing that Daddy & I were blessed enough to be able to grow our love into another little being. I look at you through out the day and just smile. You are the greatest gift we could have ever received. I'm sure you don't grasp what's going on, but thank you for being the cutest, nicest and easiest child we could have asked for! You make our lives so easy and we couldn't imagine one single moment without you!
We love you so MUCH!!!
xoxox
Mommy & Daddy
Thursday, August 15, 2013
32weeks... say what say what!?!?
32w 1d!!
Are you as excited as I am??? I still can't believe we've made it this far with two healthy babies still going strong inside my womb. It's been 13weeks since I've started this crazy, emotional bed rest journey. It's been 8weeks since my Cervix took the turn for the worse... yet here we are.
I'm an active member on an online Birth Board. One of the groups I joined when all this came about was the "Bed Rest Club". It was amazing, yet sad to see all these women in the same boat as me, or even worse. There were some women with a similar story to me that had their babies very early and unfortunately they didn't survive. There were also a few women that were still very much pregnant and in their 30+ weeks. At the time... being only 20 weeks or so it was a great place to get information, share stories, prepare for the worse, but look forward to the best. Now, I'm one of the women with a positive story so far and that is so refreshing. We take so many things for granted in life. Jobs, money, relationships, pregnancy... the list goes on. I for one am trying to appreciate everything more than I already do. This whole experience really opens your eyes to what is really important in life. Ok, enough with the sermon!
We now go to the doc 2x a week until the babies are born- every Monday & Thursday. The reasoning is now that we are getting further along, the babies have less room to move and this is the stage where they start showing signs of stress. If they monitor just once a week, there is always a chance that something could happen in those 6 days before the next appt and I would never know. The appts are primarily focused on the babies, each appt has an ultrasound, but I only see the doc once a week.
The ultrasound is a Biophysical Profile (BPP). There are four categories they score the babies in... Body Tone, Movement, Amniotic Fluid, & Breathing. Each baby can get a max of 2pts per category, scoring up to 8points. They also take note how long it takes each baby to pass as well as monitor their heart rate. So far the babies have been passing quite fast. On Monday, it took Baby A 27mins... that was by far the longest. It took her awhile again today, but she passed (they both did) with 8/8!
At Monday's Appt I was 31w 5d and I was measuring 41weeks!!! Eeek! No wonder I feel and look soooo huge. Ironically I lost a pound (212lbs!). Dr. K asked if I was eating and I told him I was, but when I was sick last week I know there were a few days I didn't eat or drink as much as normal. Jesley & Jenmay wanted to take me to dinner so I asked Dr. K and he said "No problem at all, just no strippers" LOL. Hubs & I were cracking up! It was so nice to get out. I was definitely overdressed and I knew I would be but I didn't care! When you're cooped up in a house all day everyday and wear the same comfy stretchy tank tops and yoga capris, you look for any excuse to put on a dress, makeup and a fancy hairstyle. It was great catching up with them... laughing, talking, gossiping. Oooo how I've missed them!
Today was another BPP. It took Baby A a little while to pass again. I think its bc she is so far down and starting to get smashed by Baby B. The tech relayed all the info to Dr. K. I wasn't supposed to have an appt, but he told her to send me upstairs to check my blood pressure. The tech gave me the BPP sheet. I always read the details & notes. All looked really well, except she "**" a handwritten section that said "Baby A's deepest pocket is suggestively less than Baby B's at 3.3cm". Basically Baby A seems to have less fluid around her. I imagined this is why Dr. K wanted me to come up. I went up... had to pee in a cup, which usually entails me peeing majorly on my hand and barely in the actual cup. I just give up, I don't even care! My blood pressure was "text book" and Carol went to get Dr. K. She came back a few mins later and said... "Dr. K said you're good to go". I was happy so I jumped up and we left. COMPLETELY forgetting to ask about Baby A's "deepest pocket" worry. I'll have to call in the AM. I also have some other questions I need to ask... I'm usually not one to forget, but I'll blame it on staying up late with Swiss laughing about stuff and then waking up at 5:45am for the 7:30am appointment!
I still can't believe we've made it this far! I know the doctors are very shocked. The next few weeks will be tough. Swiss leaves for college tomorrow and my mom might be working more hours at work. So it looks like Hubs will have to work from home more. Which isn't a huge deal, but its a little difficult to concentrate and get things handled with a 21month old wanting to play outside every 15mins. I might have to look into a "mommy's day out" program in our area to help. We'll get it situated... everything always seems to fall into place when you have a little patience and a lot of faith.
xoxo
Are you as excited as I am??? I still can't believe we've made it this far with two healthy babies still going strong inside my womb. It's been 13weeks since I've started this crazy, emotional bed rest journey. It's been 8weeks since my Cervix took the turn for the worse... yet here we are.
I'm an active member on an online Birth Board. One of the groups I joined when all this came about was the "Bed Rest Club". It was amazing, yet sad to see all these women in the same boat as me, or even worse. There were some women with a similar story to me that had their babies very early and unfortunately they didn't survive. There were also a few women that were still very much pregnant and in their 30+ weeks. At the time... being only 20 weeks or so it was a great place to get information, share stories, prepare for the worse, but look forward to the best. Now, I'm one of the women with a positive story so far and that is so refreshing. We take so many things for granted in life. Jobs, money, relationships, pregnancy... the list goes on. I for one am trying to appreciate everything more than I already do. This whole experience really opens your eyes to what is really important in life. Ok, enough with the sermon!
We now go to the doc 2x a week until the babies are born- every Monday & Thursday. The reasoning is now that we are getting further along, the babies have less room to move and this is the stage where they start showing signs of stress. If they monitor just once a week, there is always a chance that something could happen in those 6 days before the next appt and I would never know. The appts are primarily focused on the babies, each appt has an ultrasound, but I only see the doc once a week.
The ultrasound is a Biophysical Profile (BPP). There are four categories they score the babies in... Body Tone, Movement, Amniotic Fluid, & Breathing. Each baby can get a max of 2pts per category, scoring up to 8points. They also take note how long it takes each baby to pass as well as monitor their heart rate. So far the babies have been passing quite fast. On Monday, it took Baby A 27mins... that was by far the longest. It took her awhile again today, but she passed (they both did) with 8/8!
At Monday's Appt I was 31w 5d and I was measuring 41weeks!!! Eeek! No wonder I feel and look soooo huge. Ironically I lost a pound (212lbs!). Dr. K asked if I was eating and I told him I was, but when I was sick last week I know there were a few days I didn't eat or drink as much as normal. Jesley & Jenmay wanted to take me to dinner so I asked Dr. K and he said "No problem at all, just no strippers" LOL. Hubs & I were cracking up! It was so nice to get out. I was definitely overdressed and I knew I would be but I didn't care! When you're cooped up in a house all day everyday and wear the same comfy stretchy tank tops and yoga capris, you look for any excuse to put on a dress, makeup and a fancy hairstyle. It was great catching up with them... laughing, talking, gossiping. Oooo how I've missed them!
Today was another BPP. It took Baby A a little while to pass again. I think its bc she is so far down and starting to get smashed by Baby B. The tech relayed all the info to Dr. K. I wasn't supposed to have an appt, but he told her to send me upstairs to check my blood pressure. The tech gave me the BPP sheet. I always read the details & notes. All looked really well, except she "**" a handwritten section that said "Baby A's deepest pocket is suggestively less than Baby B's at 3.3cm". Basically Baby A seems to have less fluid around her. I imagined this is why Dr. K wanted me to come up. I went up... had to pee in a cup, which usually entails me peeing majorly on my hand and barely in the actual cup. I just give up, I don't even care! My blood pressure was "text book" and Carol went to get Dr. K. She came back a few mins later and said... "Dr. K said you're good to go". I was happy so I jumped up and we left. COMPLETELY forgetting to ask about Baby A's "deepest pocket" worry. I'll have to call in the AM. I also have some other questions I need to ask... I'm usually not one to forget, but I'll blame it on staying up late with Swiss laughing about stuff and then waking up at 5:45am for the 7:30am appointment!
I still can't believe we've made it this far! I know the doctors are very shocked. The next few weeks will be tough. Swiss leaves for college tomorrow and my mom might be working more hours at work. So it looks like Hubs will have to work from home more. Which isn't a huge deal, but its a little difficult to concentrate and get things handled with a 21month old wanting to play outside every 15mins. I might have to look into a "mommy's day out" program in our area to help. We'll get it situated... everything always seems to fall into place when you have a little patience and a lot of faith.
xoxo
Friday, August 9, 2013
30's are the new 20's...
31w 2d- The countdown is on!!
I'm going on day 8 of this damn cold. Its a lot better today, but I'm still very congested and now I have a nasty cough to go with it. I've had to force myself to drink even more water and nap as much as possible. I had two cute bags under my eyes the past few days and since I'm not traveling anywhere I decided I needed to get some more rest!
I'm still a little frazzled feeling... I feel like there is so much to think about and do and I'm just so uncomfortable. I don't remember feeling like this with Ava. Of course I had moments of scared and unsure thoughts, but I think that's all normal. This pregnancy has been so different for obvious reasons, yet I've always found ways to be optimistic. I still am, but I just feel ready... My discomforts are at an all time high and I hate complaining about it. I should feel grateful for the opportunity to be pregnant again, let alone adding two more babies to the mix AND that we've made it this far...
Hubs & I are still at my Mom's because we really need the extra help and support and thankfully we have everything we need here. We are VERY lucky!! I think when the babies are born we should be in our own place, when they come home from the hospital. We're hoping to be back on our feet and in our own place by October. Fingers crossed xx
Our appt Weds (31w) went well! The babies had another great appt and passed their BPP within 5mins again, each scoring 8/8! My favorite part was watching both babies "practice" breathing. That lifts heaviness off my heart. We got a couple good photos of both babies! The u/s tech was new to us and she pointed out that Baby B had HAIR!!! She showed us, but we were confused at what we were looking at lol. So if Baby B has hair then most likely Baby A does too! She's just sooooo far down that its hard to get a good look. BB's hair was like a little mullet flip back by her neck! Hubs is convinced the Tweebs will look like Beebs, but with light eyes :) I'm going to ask my OB next week if he can order a "3D Ultrasound" so we can look. A lot of insurances won't cover this, but we should be able to get one without paying an arm and a leg like you would at an elective stand alone Ultrasound Facility.
I now weight 213lbs... I have officially bypassed my heaviest weight with Ava. Docs are still happy with my weight gain. I'd have to go back through these posts, but for the life of me I can't remember what I weighed when I found out I was pregnant... I think it was 175 or so? If that's the case, I'm rolling up on 40lbs gained so far... YOWZA's! I gained 50lbs with Ava and was lucky that I lost 90% of the weight within the first 9-12weeks. Yay for my body reacting well to breastfeeding!
Nurse Carol came in to the room. We talked about questions, concerns, etc... and for some reason... the tears came. Marc jumped up to my side and put one arm around me and the other on my leg. I looked at him and he told me "its ok". There really isn't a reason for me to be crying... there isn't anything we should be sad about. I think I've just been having a really rough few weeks. I am beyond happy & blessed that we seem to make it to every Weds appt without issue... but I still feel worried, overwhelmed and sometimes even lonely. The loneliness makes no sense. My husband is amazing, my sister is with me and Beebs everyday and my mom does thoughtful things for me all the time. Like the other day she found a cute plant of Gerber Daisys and one of the daisys had TWO BUDS from one stem... Identical Twins! She even brings me back goodies from work that Drug Reps bring in. On top of that other family have really stepped up to visit and check in on me all the time, whether they are here in Ohio, Texas or Michigan. My Aunt & Uncle Griswald (inside family name) are always texting me to see how everything is going and they always want to hang with Ava. We've had unexpected yet very welcomed gifts sent to us off my registry from my Aunt V and even a long time HS gf "A-Mitty" whom I don't get to talk to nearly as much as I should! So anyways... I just start to cry in the room. Carol reassures me that its ok, and I know it is.... yet I feel embarrassed for being so emotional. I feel like I'm tougher than that. She brought up Post Partum Depression and asked if I had it with Beebs. I didn't, but I told her I was curious if I'm feeling so emotional now will it turn in to PPD after delivery? She told me No, the emotions I'm having now aren't related and she said that usually if you have it the first time around you'll most likely have it the 2nd, but that my chances were small... ALTHOUGH with having twins and a toddler at home it can really spark the baby blues and its something to watch for. She even talked to Marc about it... what he should look for and know when to have me call them OR have HIM call them. I've had a lot of very close friends suffer with PPD and I know things got better for them when they were able to recognize what was going on and seek treatment. I hope I don't have to go through it, but at least I'm aware. She gave me a minute to collect myself before grabbing the doctor.
Dr. G was very excited about our progress. At this point, they are still shocked that I'm very much pregnant and these girls haven't been born yet. I confirmed again what their plan is if these girls stay put... They don't want me going past 37w (Sept 18), so in all reality... I have at most 6w left before they will be born. This is crazy, refreshing, yet unnerving news. I really hope and pray they hold off until September! I won't get another growth scan for 2more weeks, so until then I won't know their estimated sizes. Dr. G said that when I make it to 32w he will be SO HAPPY and so I asked if I could have some restrictions lifted at 32w... he laughed and replied "I said I will be happy, not crazy... if you can make it to 34w then we will lift most of your restrictions". Hallelujah!! That will be August 28th and ironically just 3 days before we were supposed to leave for the OBX with our friends. I do hope I can get some normality back so I can spend more time playing with Ava and taking her places while getting ready for the babies arrival.
One thing that does worry me is how my body will recover after bed rest and babies... Carol brought this up which is ironic bc it was on my list of questions. She said getting my body back to somewhat normal will be really hard. I've been domant for the past 12weeks and counting. I'm already exhausted just walking up the steps, showering, lotioning & getting dressed. If the girls have a NICU stay I won't have much time to rest bc I imagine I'll be back and forth from the hosptial and taking care of Beebs. This coming week we start having appts 2 times a week... every Monday and Thursday. They are looking for gradual indicators that the babies are under stress as well as my body. I'm curious to see if I'm dilated anymore than 1-2cm. I'm still contracting a lot off and on through the day and they are rock hard take your breath away contractions... I want the girls to come soon, but not too soon, but soon lol. My body is ready, I just pray that they are ready too!
xoxo
I'm going on day 8 of this damn cold. Its a lot better today, but I'm still very congested and now I have a nasty cough to go with it. I've had to force myself to drink even more water and nap as much as possible. I had two cute bags under my eyes the past few days and since I'm not traveling anywhere I decided I needed to get some more rest!
I'm still a little frazzled feeling... I feel like there is so much to think about and do and I'm just so uncomfortable. I don't remember feeling like this with Ava. Of course I had moments of scared and unsure thoughts, but I think that's all normal. This pregnancy has been so different for obvious reasons, yet I've always found ways to be optimistic. I still am, but I just feel ready... My discomforts are at an all time high and I hate complaining about it. I should feel grateful for the opportunity to be pregnant again, let alone adding two more babies to the mix AND that we've made it this far...
Hubs & I are still at my Mom's because we really need the extra help and support and thankfully we have everything we need here. We are VERY lucky!! I think when the babies are born we should be in our own place, when they come home from the hospital. We're hoping to be back on our feet and in our own place by October. Fingers crossed xx
Our appt Weds (31w) went well! The babies had another great appt and passed their BPP within 5mins again, each scoring 8/8! My favorite part was watching both babies "practice" breathing. That lifts heaviness off my heart. We got a couple good photos of both babies! The u/s tech was new to us and she pointed out that Baby B had HAIR!!! She showed us, but we were confused at what we were looking at lol. So if Baby B has hair then most likely Baby A does too! She's just sooooo far down that its hard to get a good look. BB's hair was like a little mullet flip back by her neck! Hubs is convinced the Tweebs will look like Beebs, but with light eyes :) I'm going to ask my OB next week if he can order a "3D Ultrasound" so we can look. A lot of insurances won't cover this, but we should be able to get one without paying an arm and a leg like you would at an elective stand alone Ultrasound Facility.
I now weight 213lbs... I have officially bypassed my heaviest weight with Ava. Docs are still happy with my weight gain. I'd have to go back through these posts, but for the life of me I can't remember what I weighed when I found out I was pregnant... I think it was 175 or so? If that's the case, I'm rolling up on 40lbs gained so far... YOWZA's! I gained 50lbs with Ava and was lucky that I lost 90% of the weight within the first 9-12weeks. Yay for my body reacting well to breastfeeding!
Nurse Carol came in to the room. We talked about questions, concerns, etc... and for some reason... the tears came. Marc jumped up to my side and put one arm around me and the other on my leg. I looked at him and he told me "its ok". There really isn't a reason for me to be crying... there isn't anything we should be sad about. I think I've just been having a really rough few weeks. I am beyond happy & blessed that we seem to make it to every Weds appt without issue... but I still feel worried, overwhelmed and sometimes even lonely. The loneliness makes no sense. My husband is amazing, my sister is with me and Beebs everyday and my mom does thoughtful things for me all the time. Like the other day she found a cute plant of Gerber Daisys and one of the daisys had TWO BUDS from one stem... Identical Twins! She even brings me back goodies from work that Drug Reps bring in. On top of that other family have really stepped up to visit and check in on me all the time, whether they are here in Ohio, Texas or Michigan. My Aunt & Uncle Griswald (inside family name) are always texting me to see how everything is going and they always want to hang with Ava. We've had unexpected yet very welcomed gifts sent to us off my registry from my Aunt V and even a long time HS gf "A-Mitty" whom I don't get to talk to nearly as much as I should! So anyways... I just start to cry in the room. Carol reassures me that its ok, and I know it is.... yet I feel embarrassed for being so emotional. I feel like I'm tougher than that. She brought up Post Partum Depression and asked if I had it with Beebs. I didn't, but I told her I was curious if I'm feeling so emotional now will it turn in to PPD after delivery? She told me No, the emotions I'm having now aren't related and she said that usually if you have it the first time around you'll most likely have it the 2nd, but that my chances were small... ALTHOUGH with having twins and a toddler at home it can really spark the baby blues and its something to watch for. She even talked to Marc about it... what he should look for and know when to have me call them OR have HIM call them. I've had a lot of very close friends suffer with PPD and I know things got better for them when they were able to recognize what was going on and seek treatment. I hope I don't have to go through it, but at least I'm aware. She gave me a minute to collect myself before grabbing the doctor.
Dr. G was very excited about our progress. At this point, they are still shocked that I'm very much pregnant and these girls haven't been born yet. I confirmed again what their plan is if these girls stay put... They don't want me going past 37w (Sept 18), so in all reality... I have at most 6w left before they will be born. This is crazy, refreshing, yet unnerving news. I really hope and pray they hold off until September! I won't get another growth scan for 2more weeks, so until then I won't know their estimated sizes. Dr. G said that when I make it to 32w he will be SO HAPPY and so I asked if I could have some restrictions lifted at 32w... he laughed and replied "I said I will be happy, not crazy... if you can make it to 34w then we will lift most of your restrictions". Hallelujah!! That will be August 28th and ironically just 3 days before we were supposed to leave for the OBX with our friends. I do hope I can get some normality back so I can spend more time playing with Ava and taking her places while getting ready for the babies arrival.
One thing that does worry me is how my body will recover after bed rest and babies... Carol brought this up which is ironic bc it was on my list of questions. She said getting my body back to somewhat normal will be really hard. I've been domant for the past 12weeks and counting. I'm already exhausted just walking up the steps, showering, lotioning & getting dressed. If the girls have a NICU stay I won't have much time to rest bc I imagine I'll be back and forth from the hosptial and taking care of Beebs. This coming week we start having appts 2 times a week... every Monday and Thursday. They are looking for gradual indicators that the babies are under stress as well as my body. I'm curious to see if I'm dilated anymore than 1-2cm. I'm still contracting a lot off and on through the day and they are rock hard take your breath away contractions... I want the girls to come soon, but not too soon, but soon lol. My body is ready, I just pray that they are ready too!
xoxo
Saturday, August 3, 2013
I think I hit my breaking point...
30w 3d!!
Well, at least that's how I felt last night/this morning, but before I go in to details I'll recap Wednesday's 30w appt!
Hubs took me to the appt and we didn't have to wait long. It's become quite the mundane routine, but its a good thing. He always drops me off up front and the Valet guys always come running to take the car just to have him wave them off. Once I get out I go sit in a wheelchair and wait for Hubs to park the car and meet me inside. There is always the cutest white haired old man that greets us when we come in. I must admit I always feel good on appointment days. I make sure I'm all showered up, hair clean, make up and a cute outfit... which is coming harder to come by as this belly takes up more land mass! I generally opt for a cute Maxi dress. Those are the most forgiving of any outfit and I'll be able to wear them post partum.
Anyways. The Receptionist for Radiology (where we check in) knows me now. Before I even get wheeled up to her desk she has my paperwork pulled and everything updated in the system so I don't have to wait for a billing clerk station to open up. I guess weekly appts sure has its perks! We got called back for the u/s rather quickly. It was a longer one bc they had to do full measurements on the babies, which are my favorite! As always they were moving around so much and so full of energy! I love my little girls! We also had another Biophysical Profile to do. The Tech was going to do that last, but she said they clearly have their act together and passed immediately and each scored another 8/8! Good job ladies! Their measurements were also great!! Baby A's heartbeat was 154, she measured 31w 3d and estimated weight of 3lbs 9oz!! Baby B's heartbeat was 158, she measured 31w 2d and her estimated weight was also 3lbs 9oz!! That's a great weight for this gestation!!! The only scary thing is that Baby A's head measured in the 97th percentile.... YIKES. At least she'll pave the way for her sister lol! It was another really good scan, they looked great- all their organs, fluid, movements, etc. They are both still head down- thank goodness!!! Although their heads are literally right next to each other. Baby A is still presenting first, but it looks like Baby B might fight her for that position come delivery!
We went upstairs for the OB appt. It was pretty uneventful once again. I'm now 209lbs, the same weight I was when I had Ava!!! Although, I'm 9w shy of where I was when she was born lol. There wasn't really much to talk about during the appt. My due date is 10weeks away, but Dr. M said that he would prefer we evict these babies around 36-37w (sept 11/sept 18) if we can. He was convinced I would of had these babies 2 weeks ago so he's happy, we're happy! We're still on track for a Vag delivery and I hope that doesn't change. I really don't want a c-section, but if their health and mine is at stake then we'll do it. I go again next Weds (31w) and then after that twice a week! We left and got lunch and I took a 3 hour nap. Even though the appt was great, its bittersweet in a way. I've been on pins and needles for SO LONG (11weeks to be exact) and now its kinda like... Ok. Nothing. But that's a good nothing!
I woke up Thurs with a horrible sore throat and fast forward to today (saturday) and it's still hanging tough. Along with a stuffy/runny nose, cough and mild fever. So last night... I haven't been sleeping well. I'll blame my big blimp belly and just stresses for that. I'm not one to normally hold on to a lot of stress so this is all new to me. We just have a lot on our plates right now. So even though we are 10w out (or really 7w out I guess you could say) its really starting to hit me... The labor, the delivery, the recovery, the NICU time, stuff we still need for the babies, etc... All on top of keeping Ava on track and keeping a healthy relationship with my Hubs. I must admit, through this all Marc and I have adjusted well... we have our tense moments, but over all things have stayed pretty normal between us.
I was reading book III of Fifty Shades of Grey... I'll blame Book I & Book II for getting us in this position in the first place!!! I didn't fall asleep until 12am. I remember feeling contractions off and on while I slept. Finally around 2am I decided to time them. They were coming frequent enough that I took notice and strong enough to feel while sleeping... Well from 2am to 5am I averaged 6 contractions an hour. You're generally supposed to go into L&D when you have 4 or more an hour... but since I have a "irritable uterus" my baseline is a little higher than most. So I wasn't convinced I needed to go right away. I felt hot flashes and cold shivers off and on... I took my temp at 4am and had a low grade fever. That's when I started to worry... I had a fever when I delivered Ava so I was convinced this might be the start of Labor. At one point, Hubs woke up and put his hand on my belly and asked if I needed anything... I told him what was going on and that we might have to go in depending on what the doc says, THEN, just to see if he was really awake or not I added in "but can you get me some water please?" He said... "ok, let me know if you need anything, love you" and went right back to sleep. UGH! lol, I can't be mad though, at least he tried!
I called the on call line at 4:50am and told Dr. K what was going on. Initially he told me to go in, but then he asked when my next round of Procardia was due... I told I needed to take in 10mins. He told me to up my fluids, take the Med and if it stays consistent in the next 30mins I needed to go in. I had one contraction as soon as I took it and then the next one was 20mins later and then 20mins after that... thank goodness they let up. So I fell asleep about 6am & for some dumb reason I woke up for the day at 9am. Still feeling like crap I just felt so emotional. I know keeping these babies in is whats best for them, but I don't know if I can through another night like that. Between peeing every 30mins, taking my temp every 20mins, lighting up my iphone to record the contractions and just not being comfortable I felt defeated... My body is trying to do something... I kinda wish it would just shit or get off the pot. Of course now at 7pm I'm better... but when I woke up this morning, that's how I felt. 6-7more weeks... I can do this! I've already put in 11weeks... its crazy that the closer I get the harder it is. I'll be on the Procardia until I am 33w... my biggest fear is that my body will throw a keg part and shove these babies out the door. I feel like its the only thing keeping them in- along with prayers of course! I just don't feel well and I'm beyond emotional. I can't keep myself together! Not to mention Ava has been a little extra diva-ish lately and I can't do anything about it from the couch... So I have to watch others take care of her and snap her out of her funk. I'm being tested and I know everything will work out, its just been a rough few days.
I started contracting again before I started typing this... I had 4 in 30mins so I texted my cousin AG for her advice (she is ALWAYS there when I need her!!! xox) She recommended I go in, she called me and we talked about everything. I'm going to wait until after I eat and up my fluids and see if that helps. It does worry me that I contract so much when lying on my side bc that is always the #1 thing health professionals tell you to do... so we'll see. On Weds if you would have asked me when I honestly thought they would be here, I would have said September... if you ask me today... I'd say I hope I'd make to tomorrow morning. I know if they were born today its a more positive outlook than 2 weeks ago but I'm still so worried for them. I also start to worry for myself a little. With the complications I had after Ava I can't help but wonder if they will resurface and be worse this time around. At least the docs all know and are aware so they will be prepared...
Sorry for the Debbie Downers moments... I guess even the most optimistic people have relapses.
xoxo
Well, at least that's how I felt last night/this morning, but before I go in to details I'll recap Wednesday's 30w appt!
Hubs took me to the appt and we didn't have to wait long. It's become quite the mundane routine, but its a good thing. He always drops me off up front and the Valet guys always come running to take the car just to have him wave them off. Once I get out I go sit in a wheelchair and wait for Hubs to park the car and meet me inside. There is always the cutest white haired old man that greets us when we come in. I must admit I always feel good on appointment days. I make sure I'm all showered up, hair clean, make up and a cute outfit... which is coming harder to come by as this belly takes up more land mass! I generally opt for a cute Maxi dress. Those are the most forgiving of any outfit and I'll be able to wear them post partum.
Anyways. The Receptionist for Radiology (where we check in) knows me now. Before I even get wheeled up to her desk she has my paperwork pulled and everything updated in the system so I don't have to wait for a billing clerk station to open up. I guess weekly appts sure has its perks! We got called back for the u/s rather quickly. It was a longer one bc they had to do full measurements on the babies, which are my favorite! As always they were moving around so much and so full of energy! I love my little girls! We also had another Biophysical Profile to do. The Tech was going to do that last, but she said they clearly have their act together and passed immediately and each scored another 8/8! Good job ladies! Their measurements were also great!! Baby A's heartbeat was 154, she measured 31w 3d and estimated weight of 3lbs 9oz!! Baby B's heartbeat was 158, she measured 31w 2d and her estimated weight was also 3lbs 9oz!! That's a great weight for this gestation!!! The only scary thing is that Baby A's head measured in the 97th percentile.... YIKES. At least she'll pave the way for her sister lol! It was another really good scan, they looked great- all their organs, fluid, movements, etc. They are both still head down- thank goodness!!! Although their heads are literally right next to each other. Baby A is still presenting first, but it looks like Baby B might fight her for that position come delivery!
We went upstairs for the OB appt. It was pretty uneventful once again. I'm now 209lbs, the same weight I was when I had Ava!!! Although, I'm 9w shy of where I was when she was born lol. There wasn't really much to talk about during the appt. My due date is 10weeks away, but Dr. M said that he would prefer we evict these babies around 36-37w (sept 11/sept 18) if we can. He was convinced I would of had these babies 2 weeks ago so he's happy, we're happy! We're still on track for a Vag delivery and I hope that doesn't change. I really don't want a c-section, but if their health and mine is at stake then we'll do it. I go again next Weds (31w) and then after that twice a week! We left and got lunch and I took a 3 hour nap. Even though the appt was great, its bittersweet in a way. I've been on pins and needles for SO LONG (11weeks to be exact) and now its kinda like... Ok. Nothing. But that's a good nothing!
I woke up Thurs with a horrible sore throat and fast forward to today (saturday) and it's still hanging tough. Along with a stuffy/runny nose, cough and mild fever. So last night... I haven't been sleeping well. I'll blame my big blimp belly and just stresses for that. I'm not one to normally hold on to a lot of stress so this is all new to me. We just have a lot on our plates right now. So even though we are 10w out (or really 7w out I guess you could say) its really starting to hit me... The labor, the delivery, the recovery, the NICU time, stuff we still need for the babies, etc... All on top of keeping Ava on track and keeping a healthy relationship with my Hubs. I must admit, through this all Marc and I have adjusted well... we have our tense moments, but over all things have stayed pretty normal between us.
I was reading book III of Fifty Shades of Grey... I'll blame Book I & Book II for getting us in this position in the first place!!! I didn't fall asleep until 12am. I remember feeling contractions off and on while I slept. Finally around 2am I decided to time them. They were coming frequent enough that I took notice and strong enough to feel while sleeping... Well from 2am to 5am I averaged 6 contractions an hour. You're generally supposed to go into L&D when you have 4 or more an hour... but since I have a "irritable uterus" my baseline is a little higher than most. So I wasn't convinced I needed to go right away. I felt hot flashes and cold shivers off and on... I took my temp at 4am and had a low grade fever. That's when I started to worry... I had a fever when I delivered Ava so I was convinced this might be the start of Labor. At one point, Hubs woke up and put his hand on my belly and asked if I needed anything... I told him what was going on and that we might have to go in depending on what the doc says, THEN, just to see if he was really awake or not I added in "but can you get me some water please?" He said... "ok, let me know if you need anything, love you" and went right back to sleep. UGH! lol, I can't be mad though, at least he tried!
I called the on call line at 4:50am and told Dr. K what was going on. Initially he told me to go in, but then he asked when my next round of Procardia was due... I told I needed to take in 10mins. He told me to up my fluids, take the Med and if it stays consistent in the next 30mins I needed to go in. I had one contraction as soon as I took it and then the next one was 20mins later and then 20mins after that... thank goodness they let up. So I fell asleep about 6am & for some dumb reason I woke up for the day at 9am. Still feeling like crap I just felt so emotional. I know keeping these babies in is whats best for them, but I don't know if I can through another night like that. Between peeing every 30mins, taking my temp every 20mins, lighting up my iphone to record the contractions and just not being comfortable I felt defeated... My body is trying to do something... I kinda wish it would just shit or get off the pot. Of course now at 7pm I'm better... but when I woke up this morning, that's how I felt. 6-7more weeks... I can do this! I've already put in 11weeks... its crazy that the closer I get the harder it is. I'll be on the Procardia until I am 33w... my biggest fear is that my body will throw a keg part and shove these babies out the door. I feel like its the only thing keeping them in- along with prayers of course! I just don't feel well and I'm beyond emotional. I can't keep myself together! Not to mention Ava has been a little extra diva-ish lately and I can't do anything about it from the couch... So I have to watch others take care of her and snap her out of her funk. I'm being tested and I know everything will work out, its just been a rough few days.
I started contracting again before I started typing this... I had 4 in 30mins so I texted my cousin AG for her advice (she is ALWAYS there when I need her!!! xox) She recommended I go in, she called me and we talked about everything. I'm going to wait until after I eat and up my fluids and see if that helps. It does worry me that I contract so much when lying on my side bc that is always the #1 thing health professionals tell you to do... so we'll see. On Weds if you would have asked me when I honestly thought they would be here, I would have said September... if you ask me today... I'd say I hope I'd make to tomorrow morning. I know if they were born today its a more positive outlook than 2 weeks ago but I'm still so worried for them. I also start to worry for myself a little. With the complications I had after Ava I can't help but wonder if they will resurface and be worse this time around. At least the docs all know and are aware so they will be prepared...
Sorry for the Debbie Downers moments... I guess even the most optimistic people have relapses.
xoxo
Taking an illegal pic at my 30w appt! Look at the belly... WHOA!
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