32w 5d!!!
So... the emotions are finally at bay, or at least for now. This weekend was quite emotional yet again. What is it about the weekends? Is it that I'm surrounded more by family and able to relax more and I just start thinking?! Who knows...
Last Thursday was a great appt. That night, my Swiss and I stayed up pretty late watching this week's episode of Pretty Little Liars. She left for her Sophomore year of College the next day so it didn't matter how exhausted I was... I was determined to stay up! She had me curl her hair while we watched it. I haven't done her hair in awhile and although she was going to be moving and sweating the next day she needed to look extra fab. I'm actually in her room right now blogging from her bed :)
I woke up Friday morning at 5am to take my Procardia. I knew Brooke would be getting up soon to hit the road with my parents so I made sure not to fall asleep. Around 5:20a I didn't hear any movements so I went into her room to make sure she was awake. She was and so we laid in her bed talking and laughing about pranks we should have pulled, two words- bubble wrap. She got up and got dressed and I laid in her bed & we talked while she got dressed. Around 6:30am we said our good byes and she hit the road for the 2hour drive south into Columbus. At the time, I wasn't very emotional... probably bc it was so early and my eyes were burning. I took my hot cup of coffee up to my room and fell back asleep. It wasn't until Saturday that it hit me she was gone... her room is so empty, our bathroom is clean (haha!), her car isn't in its parking spot in the garage and of course she wasn't anywhere to be found. Beebs started asking for her immediately and would walk in her room and look around. She's a smart girl- she knew she wasn't here. Normally she plays with all of Brookes jewelry that's left out... but no, she just looked at it all. As if wondering why so much stuff was missing.
I felt good most of Saturday, but I realized I felt different down in my woman regions. I noticed more wetness then what I'm used too. I originally chalked it up to discharge. It kept coming through out the day. I never had a "gush" of water or anything like that. But my undies were consistently wet, not soaked, but wet. I mentioned this to Hubs the night before and as always he was on board to go to L&D and call the doc. I decided to give it another day. After dinner I was talking to my mom about it, probably bc I KNEW she would insist that I call and maybe I just needed that extra push? So I did... Dr. K was on call and it sounded like he was at a nice dinner or something with his wife. He said I needed to come in to check its not Amniotic Fluid. He also semi scolded me when I told him it went on a few days saying "for being one of our more educated patients I'm surprised you waited this long", that's also his way of joking! Hubs finished giving Ava a bath and I finally got around to packing my hospital bag. That was also overwhelming... to think this COULD BE IT. We don't have any premie clothes (hopefully we won't need them) and the only outfit we have that isn't a hand me down from Ava wasn't washed (my mom got it for us) and we still only have one named decided on. We still have our Infant seat in storage and have yet to buy the 2nd... so everything was just hitting me at once. I managed to keep my composure (barely) and we left for the Hospital.
Whew... that was the FASTEST medical visit I ever had. Especially for being unplanned. Dr. K was actually at the hospital and NOT out to dinner with his wife. He came to my L&D Triage room immediately. I wasn't even officially "checked in" yet. Not even a minute after getting the babies heartbeats on the monitor he came in and summonded me to end of the gurney to spread eagle. "keep coming down" is what he kept saying... o my gosh... do you know how hard it is to scoot south while on your back and 75lbs of watermelons are balancing on your stomach. I felt like if I was going to scoot anymore I would fall off the bed. In reality I probably only moved in an inch, but my body took it as if I just did 30 burpees after 10 turkish get ups... omg. Insert the prehistoric metal speculum and he started taking cultrures. First up- amniotic fluid, NEGATIVE. Woohoo! He also did two more cultures to make sure I didn't have a bacterial or yeast infections, NEGATIVE for both! He did an internal exam and I was nervous... the last person to give me one was the Resident doctor and it felt like he was fishing around for a lost earring or something. It was much different with Dr. K and I imagine it has to do with experience. He said I was still 1-2cm dilated, yay! No increase from 28w, my cervix did feel soft, but he was happy. We'll just say I had a lot of pregnancy juice goin on.
He cleaned up and told me to scoot back on the bed. Really... I just spent my whole life scooting to the back and now I have to scoot back up towards the head?! It seemed a little easier. He rolled in a portable ultrasound machine to look at the girls himself. He tooks some snaps and said they looked good and the fluid looked balance. He had me pee in a cup and not even an hour after setting foot in the PARKING LOT, we were headed home! This was our first false alarm... I know its better to get checked and be in the clear then be stubborn and not go... hopefully, no more false alarms!
Sunday was a good relaxing day. My mom met a gf for dinner so Marc cooked for Beebs & I. I got up to check the chicken since it was my recipe. I took the glass lid off with a pot holder, but still managed to burn my thumb. I put the lid in the sink so I could run cold water over the burn and... SHATTER... the glass top busted into a million pieces. How could I be so dumb?!?!? Marcellus ushered me away and said he would clean it. I immediately started to cry. Why?! WHY!??!? These emotions are out of control and looking a little soft over here!
Today was a good, yet emotional day as well. We had a great appt and both babies passed their BPP very quickly and scored 8/8. Things are still looking great with them. I gained 1/2 a pound from last week... that is very shocking to me! I know I lost a pound over two weeks but I find it odd that I only gained .5lbs back. Owell- I'll take it. On Thursday we get full measurements of the babies so we'll get to see their estimated weight/length. I cannot wait! Dr. G said that depending on how the babies look, will depend on if we need to do anything sooner than the 37w mark. TTTS is pretty much ruled out, but I guess when you hit this gestation one baby tends to run out of room faster and the other can keep growing. So we're hoping for no negative changes since the last 3 weeks! I'd REALLY prefer a september baby... Speaking of August babies...
Today is Swiss' 19th Birthday! I think this is the main reason why I've been so quick to cry this weekend, because she's not here. I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing help she was from May-August. She loves Ava more than I can describe and took care of us both without thinking twice. She sacrificied most of her summer and opportunities to make money working so she could take care of us. Ava is beyond attached to her and I know she misses her already. I don't know what we're going to do without her... I think I was in denial she was leaving and never really put a plan in to place. Of course my mom is still able to help out alot on her off days and she goes above and beyond so all is not lost... just the Swiss part :( We'll make it through... I only have at most 4weeks and some change. We'll get through this... I hope!
I feel like there were some other things I needed to talk about, but its getting late... I'm tired and can't rememeber. I will leave you with this though... I accidentally pooped on the bathroom floor tonight. I'm not really sure how it happened so don't judge me, but there it was just sitting there staring at me... good times! Goodnight!
xoxox
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