Getting back to Normality..

***Disclaimer.... this was started on Weds Oct 23rd and finished today Mon Nov 11th

Normality probably isn't a word, or maybe it is because it didn't get flagged for spelling. Meh

The girls will be 6w old tomorrow! Wow!!! I'm not surprised that time is flying. Life itself seems to fly by when you become a "responsible" (cough cough) adult. As adolescents we all want to be "double digits", and then teens, and then 18, and then 21 and then suddenly, we wish we were still 13. I actually love being an adult and I do enjoy how fast time flies. I love looking back over the years and just think wow its been quite a ride. Since time does go fast it makes going through tough times easier. I'm able to sit back and say... ok, this sucks, but before I know it, it will be a year and I'll look back and laugh, or have learned.

Today I had my 6 week check up. I have been looking forward to today since I was put on pelvic rest 6months ago. I talked to the ladies at the reception area for awhile. We talked and laughed for probably 10mins or more. I'm going to miss not chatting with them on the regular. Carol took me back and we checked my weight. I am down to 175lbs which if I'm not mistaken is 3lbs UNDER my pre pregnancy weight!!! I'm very happy :) I'm still rocking maternity jeans because I think they are comfortable and truthfully 95% of my clothes are still tucked away in an oversized garage called a storage unit, so I really have no choice.

Carol and I talked about birth control options. She wrote me a new rx for the Mini Pill. Since I'm still breastfeeding this is a good option. Although since its progesterone only its not as "strong" as other pills so I HAVE to remember to take it at the same time everyday. This normally wouldn't be a problem, but lately I have trouble remembering what day of the week it is, let alone a specific time! I thought about getting the IUD, but I think I'll hold off until my 6month appt in March. Although, maybe I won't... I'm terrified to get pregnant again right now!!

Everything else went well with the appt. I had a piece of thread hanging from my incision. I've touched it a couple times to see if it would fall off without luck. It just seemed to get longer. So Dr. G was talking to me and next thing I know the piece was in his hand. He said it came right out. The incision area is still numb so I hope to god it wasn't still attached to something important!!! I was cleared to resume back to all "normal" activities... work (yuck, but actually considering going back) and "other" activities. WOOHOO!!!!!!! Best news ever!!! I was half tempted to tell Hubs NOT to go back to work once I got home... but I'll just have to contain myself a little longer.

Lola is still making her little clicking/breathing noises. She's not struggling for breath but I'm starting to think that there is something else up besides narrow nasal passages and mucus build up. I've been using saline a few times a day and I really don't get much junk out. I have an appt on Friday with her Doctor. Hopefully she can dig in a little deeper. I'm sure its nothing serious, but its definitely different.

On another REALLY good note... we found a place! We've decided its best that we just rent something right now so we found a cute little house that's on the way to Hubs' work! Its a 3bedroom, nothing special, but absolutely PERFECT for us. We move in this weekend and I cannot wait. Things are really starting to fall into place after 6months of uncertain chaos. Ava's 2nd Birthday is next weekend and we actually have a full weekend of fun stuff going on with friends and family for other occasions. I guess I need to get on the look out for some babysitters!

Speaking of sitters... how do I find babysitters for twin newborns and a toddler? I know lots of people have 3 kids, but 3 kids consisting of twins, this young? My mom & Aunt Mary do a lot of babysitting for us when we really need it and I hate always having to ask them. I'm just not sure how you find someone (or TWO someones) that would be willing to watch them? I think its relatively easy, but I worry about finding someone being able watch the babies and not get frustrated. It can be trying when you're feeding one baby and the other just starts crying even when you know they don't "need" anything except to be loved on and your hands are full, literally. I'm sure anyone can handle it for a few hours, but its something that worries me. Perhaps I should really look into two sitters even if it costs more. That way each person gets a baby or if one baby is crazy and the other is calm they can both help? These are the things I think about nonstop.

Mommy guilt has been setting in a lot more lately. The girls are staying awake in longer stretches now, sometimes even up to an hour! So, by the time I change a diaper, feed, love on, let them stay awake a little and then get back to sleep... its like an hour per baby, on top of still giving Ava everything she needs and wants. A few days I cry about it. I know Ava won't remember this, just like she won't remember her big ol mom couch ridden all summer, but I can't help but feel like she and the babies deserve more than I can give. I also feel like the babies spend too much time in their rock n plays. Now that they are alert longer, I try to change up their positions and sit on the floor with them. I can usually match that up with playing with Ava on the ground, but before you know it she wants to run and jump... and well... even though I've got cat like reflexes I'm not sure I trust her depth perception. We're considering (actually more like decided) to get Beebs back in daycare. They can offer her more interaction, play and stimulation than I can give right now. Even though shows are educational now, its not a good babysitter or play mate. In fact, we haven't been outside in forever. Or even somewhere indoors where she can get all crazy.

** sorry for the abrupt ending, but I'll just post this and start a new update in the next post.