TMI::: DO NOT READ!!!

So... if I post something TMI, its not your typical "OMG someone picked their nose", it is really TMI and will probably make you feel embarrassed just for reading it. On top of that if you don't know me that well then you will really think differently of me. Probably in a not so attractive way, but hey... I'm just keeping it real.

This is your warning... if you continue to scroll down you cannot "unread" anything you see...

Are you sure??

Ok....

One thing about pregnancy no one really talks about are the way your body changes. Not just a big ol Kangaroo Pouch stuffed with a Watermelon, or amazing boobs, or not even the gas... There is something called Pregnancy Constipation. This little gem has taken much time away from me that I cannot get back.

I've had three incredibly difficult situations. The first one around 10w and then two in the last week alone. The 2nd instance we were at a friends house. It just hits you that you have to go to the bathroom and it doesn't seem like it will be an issue until you sit down are realize what's trying to come out might be a tad bigger than the opening it has to utilize. I took me 35mins to work it out. Standing, sitting, leaning to one side... then the other all while NOT STRAINING... I'm afraid if I strain a babies head might pop out! After completely stripping down to just my bra and flushing my face with cold water I felt I needed to walk somewhere... I texted my Hubs that was in the other room that I was going to break down to the basement bathroom and to make sure no one came close to where I was bc I had zero clothes on and a turtle head poking out. The minute I hit the bottom of the steps, it was ready... that feeling alone is like giving birth to a mini cucumber. This was not even the worse to come.

Fast forward 4 days... I'm at my mom's house and it's bed time, even though I feel something a brewing. I try to relieve the pressure, no luck. So I figure I just need to wait it out a little. Pull my yoga pants back up and walk out of the bathroom, only to have the feeling return quickly. I run back to bathroom and sit and the feeling goes away. It just won't come... again I can't strain, there is too much going on inside me to bear down and get it out. Not to mention I'm hemorrhoid free at the moment and I prefer not to add that to my list of body annoyances! My sister comes into the bathroom to prep for bed. We were laughing about me being half naked just standing against the wall, looking defeated. There is no way I can go to bed feeling like this and it has been an HOUR since this ordeal started. I finally realize the only time I feel like I can get this out is when I stand...

Facing the toilet, my legs are straddling the porcelain. I have one hand against the wall and another is full of toilet paper... and so it happens. Yes it does. It was my only option. It took three tries, but I realized every time I sat down, it's like the babies were cutting off the cANAL and it would have never happened. I can't say I ever pooped into my hand or while standing up, but hopefully that is only the first and last time! My OB said I need to take Colace twice a day here on out... you can bet that's one medicine I will NEVER forget to take!