31w 2d- The countdown is on!!
I'm going on day 8 of this damn cold. Its a lot better today, but I'm still very congested and now I have a nasty cough to go with it. I've had to force myself to drink even more water and nap as much as possible. I had two cute bags under my eyes the past few days and since I'm not traveling anywhere I decided I needed to get some more rest!
I'm still a little frazzled feeling... I feel like there is so much to think about and do and I'm just so uncomfortable. I don't remember feeling like this with Ava. Of course I had moments of scared and unsure thoughts, but I think that's all normal. This pregnancy has been so different for obvious reasons, yet I've always found ways to be optimistic. I still am, but I just feel ready... My discomforts are at an all time high and I hate complaining about it. I should feel grateful for the opportunity to be pregnant again, let alone adding two more babies to the mix AND that we've made it this far...
Hubs & I are still at my Mom's because we really need the extra help and support and thankfully we have everything we need here. We are VERY lucky!! I think when the babies are born we should be in our own place, when they come home from the hospital. We're hoping to be back on our feet and in our own place by October. Fingers crossed xx
Our appt Weds (31w) went well! The babies had another great appt and passed their BPP within 5mins again, each scoring 8/8! My favorite part was watching both babies "practice" breathing. That lifts heaviness off my heart. We got a couple good photos of both babies! The u/s tech was new to us and she pointed out that Baby B had HAIR!!! She showed us, but we were confused at what we were looking at lol. So if Baby B has hair then most likely Baby A does too! She's just sooooo far down that its hard to get a good look. BB's hair was like a little mullet flip back by her neck! Hubs is convinced the Tweebs will look like Beebs, but with light eyes :) I'm going to ask my OB next week if he can order a "3D Ultrasound" so we can look. A lot of insurances won't cover this, but we should be able to get one without paying an arm and a leg like you would at an elective stand alone Ultrasound Facility.
I now weight 213lbs... I have officially bypassed my heaviest weight with Ava. Docs are still happy with my weight gain. I'd have to go back through these posts, but for the life of me I can't remember what I weighed when I found out I was pregnant... I think it was 175 or so? If that's the case, I'm rolling up on 40lbs gained so far... YOWZA's! I gained 50lbs with Ava and was lucky that I lost 90% of the weight within the first 9-12weeks. Yay for my body reacting well to breastfeeding!
Nurse Carol came in to the room. We talked about questions, concerns, etc... and for some reason... the tears came. Marc jumped up to my side and put one arm around me and the other on my leg. I looked at him and he told me "its ok". There really isn't a reason for me to be crying... there isn't anything we should be sad about. I think I've just been having a really rough few weeks. I am beyond happy & blessed that we seem to make it to every Weds appt without issue... but I still feel worried, overwhelmed and sometimes even lonely. The loneliness makes no sense. My husband is amazing, my sister is with me and Beebs everyday and my mom does thoughtful things for me all the time. Like the other day she found a cute plant of Gerber Daisys and one of the daisys had TWO BUDS from one stem... Identical Twins! She even brings me back goodies from work that Drug Reps bring in. On top of that other family have really stepped up to visit and check in on me all the time, whether they are here in Ohio, Texas or Michigan. My Aunt & Uncle Griswald (inside family name) are always texting me to see how everything is going and they always want to hang with Ava. We've had unexpected yet very welcomed gifts sent to us off my registry from my Aunt V and even a long time HS gf "A-Mitty" whom I don't get to talk to nearly as much as I should! So anyways... I just start to cry in the room. Carol reassures me that its ok, and I know it is.... yet I feel embarrassed for being so emotional. I feel like I'm tougher than that. She brought up Post Partum Depression and asked if I had it with Beebs. I didn't, but I told her I was curious if I'm feeling so emotional now will it turn in to PPD after delivery? She told me No, the emotions I'm having now aren't related and she said that usually if you have it the first time around you'll most likely have it the 2nd, but that my chances were small... ALTHOUGH with having twins and a toddler at home it can really spark the baby blues and its something to watch for. She even talked to Marc about it... what he should look for and know when to have me call them OR have HIM call them. I've had a lot of very close friends suffer with PPD and I know things got better for them when they were able to recognize what was going on and seek treatment. I hope I don't have to go through it, but at least I'm aware. She gave me a minute to collect myself before grabbing the doctor.
Dr. G was very excited about our progress. At this point, they are still shocked that I'm very much pregnant and these girls haven't been born yet. I confirmed again what their plan is if these girls stay put... They don't want me going past 37w (Sept 18), so in all reality... I have at most 6w left before they will be born. This is crazy, refreshing, yet unnerving news. I really hope and pray they hold off until September! I won't get another growth scan for 2more weeks, so until then I won't know their estimated sizes. Dr. G said that when I make it to 32w he will be SO HAPPY and so I asked if I could have some restrictions lifted at 32w... he laughed and replied "I said I will be happy, not crazy... if you can make it to 34w then we will lift most of your restrictions". Hallelujah!! That will be August 28th and ironically just 3 days before we were supposed to leave for the OBX with our friends. I do hope I can get some normality back so I can spend more time playing with Ava and taking her places while getting ready for the babies arrival.
One thing that does worry me is how my body will recover after bed rest and babies... Carol brought this up which is ironic bc it was on my list of questions. She said getting my body back to somewhat normal will be really hard. I've been domant for the past 12weeks and counting. I'm already exhausted just walking up the steps, showering, lotioning & getting dressed. If the girls have a NICU stay I won't have much time to rest bc I imagine I'll be back and forth from the hosptial and taking care of Beebs. This coming week we start having appts 2 times a week... every Monday and Thursday. They are looking for gradual indicators that the babies are under stress as well as my body. I'm curious to see if I'm dilated anymore than 1-2cm. I'm still contracting a lot off and on through the day and they are rock hard take your breath away contractions... I want the girls to come soon, but not too soon, but soon lol. My body is ready, I just pray that they are ready too!
xoxo
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