Don't mind the title! Its the name of a song and how I felt today!
We are getting closer and closer and older and older! This is a really big week for us... of course every week is important, but this is the week I get another round of shots & my meds are switched. Not to mention I'll be 28w on Weds!!
Hubs, Beebs & I went to the Hospital nice and early this morning to get Shot 1 of 2. When I got there, they had a chart for me and said that they had me setup to be admitted today. I told them it had to be a mistake... that I was supposed to get the Celestone shots today & tomorrow and then admitted on Weds. The RN said she would look into it, but everything pointed to today and they were ready for me. I could feel a tiny bit of anxiety starting to build, especially when I blurted out... "BUT I haven't even shaved my legs today!!!!!". The nurses in the office started laughing, yet I didn't feel any relief. I looked at my Hubs and he seemed concerned. We weren't ready for this. Of course if I was in Labor, that's another story, but here we were... nothing with us except our 20month old. It was not an ideal situation.
The RN took me back to L&D Room while they called my docs. She asked me to still get into the hospital gown and relax in the bed. The room was surprisingly spacious with a nice rocking chair and a bed that pulls out into a couch. I don't think I've ever had a panic attack before... but while I got in the bed I had a mini freak attack. I wasn't prepared for this to happen TODAY. I am prepared for this to happen in TWO DAYS. I start rambling to Marc about what were we going to do? We have Ava here... We don't have cell chargers, snacks, change of clothes, lap tops, etc... He just looked at me and said "Its ok, let's just wait and see what they say... we can always get that stuff". The RN came back in and said Dr. G confirmed he wanted me admitted, but he was going to discuss with Dr. M. A little more panic set in... I told the RN the whole reason I'm here is to get the Steroid Shots in case the babies ARE BORN when they switch my meds on Weds. That way it helps give them a little more of a head start. She agreed with me... It's a good thing I was adamant about what was supposed to happen. I told her if the docs want to admit me, I will stay... but that wasn't the plan and I just need confirmation.
At this point Beebs is begging to watch "Elmo". So I find Disney on the tv and we lay in my bed watching "Sophia the First" while Hubs sits next to us trying to get some work done. I think I seriously was freaking out... I texted my Mom the news and ironically she was only working a half day due to a Doc at her office needing to leave for Medical Reasons. At least we'd have someone to come get Ava and bring our stuff. I immediately felt some relief. Finally the RN came back in and confirmed... just the Celestone shot today and tomorrow we'd be admitted Weds... WOOHOO!!!! I mean here I am.. NO SHOWER, because I thought it would be a quick shot and I would go back home and nap since it was earlier than usual, dirty hair, hairy legs, chipped nail polish and no toothbrush!
She left again to get the shot... I started thinking about the last time at 24w and how Day 2 hurt REALLY bad. This is only Day 1 again and it was easy. She grabbed my big ol butt cheek. Not bad. I guess we'll see how tomorrow's goes! I go back in around 10am for the 2nd dose.
I've had a lot of really good days over the weeks. I've of course had a few bad days were I just get really sad. It's more of a selfish pity party for myself. I know this is what's best for the babies, but when I look back at how long this journey has been, it exhausts me. I was on Modified Bed Rest for 5weeks and Strict Bed Rest for almost 4weeks. 9weeks ago I was terrified that these babies might not be able to hold up inside me until the 27/28w mark. It seemed SO FAR AWAY... and here we are! Almost 28w and looking great! I've missed some fun times with friends and family bc I'm stuck on this comfy couch or my bed. I know there will be more fun times next summer... I don't feel bad thinking like this. I'm only human and this isn't a situation I was expecting or prepared for. So considering everything I think I'm handling it really well.
A big part of me is ready to meet these little girls! I know its too early, but I remember feeling like this with Ava. When you find out what you're having, think about names, have a baby shower, decorate the nursery, etc... unfortunately there probably won't be a nursery decorating day. Heck, the babies don't even have their own room. There are tubs and tubs of Ava's baby clothes in the basement, along with her toys, equipment, bottles, etc... I really want to go through everything, but I can't. I feel like I'm missing out on some of the really fun processes you go through when expecting a child and I think that makes me the most sad. I want to Celebrate these little girls BEFORE they come, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Every night before bed I check on Ava and say my prayers and say my thanks for all our Blessings. I pray they come as close to 36w as possible... if I make it that far, I'm sure all my restrictions will be released and we can start preparing the way parents should! Whether this is your first child or 5th, all children deserve parents who are excited and ready to prepare for their arrival!
I'll update again tomorrow... this is already getting too long and I'm getting hungry!
xoxo
We are getting closer and closer and older and older! This is a really big week for us... of course every week is important, but this is the week I get another round of shots & my meds are switched. Not to mention I'll be 28w on Weds!!
Hubs, Beebs & I went to the Hospital nice and early this morning to get Shot 1 of 2. When I got there, they had a chart for me and said that they had me setup to be admitted today. I told them it had to be a mistake... that I was supposed to get the Celestone shots today & tomorrow and then admitted on Weds. The RN said she would look into it, but everything pointed to today and they were ready for me. I could feel a tiny bit of anxiety starting to build, especially when I blurted out... "BUT I haven't even shaved my legs today!!!!!". The nurses in the office started laughing, yet I didn't feel any relief. I looked at my Hubs and he seemed concerned. We weren't ready for this. Of course if I was in Labor, that's another story, but here we were... nothing with us except our 20month old. It was not an ideal situation.
The RN took me back to L&D Room while they called my docs. She asked me to still get into the hospital gown and relax in the bed. The room was surprisingly spacious with a nice rocking chair and a bed that pulls out into a couch. I don't think I've ever had a panic attack before... but while I got in the bed I had a mini freak attack. I wasn't prepared for this to happen TODAY. I am prepared for this to happen in TWO DAYS. I start rambling to Marc about what were we going to do? We have Ava here... We don't have cell chargers, snacks, change of clothes, lap tops, etc... He just looked at me and said "Its ok, let's just wait and see what they say... we can always get that stuff". The RN came back in and said Dr. G confirmed he wanted me admitted, but he was going to discuss with Dr. M. A little more panic set in... I told the RN the whole reason I'm here is to get the Steroid Shots in case the babies ARE BORN when they switch my meds on Weds. That way it helps give them a little more of a head start. She agreed with me... It's a good thing I was adamant about what was supposed to happen. I told her if the docs want to admit me, I will stay... but that wasn't the plan and I just need confirmation.
At this point Beebs is begging to watch "Elmo". So I find Disney on the tv and we lay in my bed watching "Sophia the First" while Hubs sits next to us trying to get some work done. I think I seriously was freaking out... I texted my Mom the news and ironically she was only working a half day due to a Doc at her office needing to leave for Medical Reasons. At least we'd have someone to come get Ava and bring our stuff. I immediately felt some relief. Finally the RN came back in and confirmed... just the Celestone shot today and tomorrow we'd be admitted Weds... WOOHOO!!!! I mean here I am.. NO SHOWER, because I thought it would be a quick shot and I would go back home and nap since it was earlier than usual, dirty hair, hairy legs, chipped nail polish and no toothbrush!
She left again to get the shot... I started thinking about the last time at 24w and how Day 2 hurt REALLY bad. This is only Day 1 again and it was easy. She grabbed my big ol butt cheek. Not bad. I guess we'll see how tomorrow's goes! I go back in around 10am for the 2nd dose.
I've had a lot of really good days over the weeks. I've of course had a few bad days were I just get really sad. It's more of a selfish pity party for myself. I know this is what's best for the babies, but when I look back at how long this journey has been, it exhausts me. I was on Modified Bed Rest for 5weeks and Strict Bed Rest for almost 4weeks. 9weeks ago I was terrified that these babies might not be able to hold up inside me until the 27/28w mark. It seemed SO FAR AWAY... and here we are! Almost 28w and looking great! I've missed some fun times with friends and family bc I'm stuck on this comfy couch or my bed. I know there will be more fun times next summer... I don't feel bad thinking like this. I'm only human and this isn't a situation I was expecting or prepared for. So considering everything I think I'm handling it really well.
A big part of me is ready to meet these little girls! I know its too early, but I remember feeling like this with Ava. When you find out what you're having, think about names, have a baby shower, decorate the nursery, etc... unfortunately there probably won't be a nursery decorating day. Heck, the babies don't even have their own room. There are tubs and tubs of Ava's baby clothes in the basement, along with her toys, equipment, bottles, etc... I really want to go through everything, but I can't. I feel like I'm missing out on some of the really fun processes you go through when expecting a child and I think that makes me the most sad. I want to Celebrate these little girls BEFORE they come, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Every night before bed I check on Ava and say my prayers and say my thanks for all our Blessings. I pray they come as close to 36w as possible... if I make it that far, I'm sure all my restrictions will be released and we can start preparing the way parents should! Whether this is your first child or 5th, all children deserve parents who are excited and ready to prepare for their arrival!
I'll update again tomorrow... this is already getting too long and I'm getting hungry!
xoxo
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