Hospital Details

28w 5d!

     I wanted to recap some things from my hospital visit last week. It was such an overwhelming experience with good and bad news and almost zero sleep. I wonder if "night shift" nurses make fun of their patients, I probably would! The first night I was hooked up to a contraction monitor and baby monitor (occasionally), a pulse ox on my left index finger, a blood pressure cuff on my left arm and an IV Port rammed into the top of my right hand. My blood pressure was pretty low as a side effect from the Procardia so they wanted to get readings through out the night. Every 30mins the damn machine would automatically take a reading... so that means... every 30mins I would wake up to a feeling like someone is giving me an indian burn and trying to rip my arm out of its socket. I'd wake up in a flash and grab at my bicep with my right arm and usually give out a scream, until I realized that Lord Voldemort wasn't trying to kill me. After this happened about 4times I finally got used to it. When the nurses come in to check the babies and my vitals I felt like my body was made of cement and I couldn't move fast enough to wake up for them. I'd always try and act like I wasn't sleeping, bc of who sleeps at 3am??! I'm sure I looked like a pretty peach trying to sit up and make chit chat while they handed me my meds and checked my belly.

The next night was a little better. No continuous BP readings since my levels normalized. But as soon as I would fall asleep I would hear this faint beeping... what the hell. I realized it was the pulse ox on my finger. So I'd adjust it and go back to sleep. It happens again. I adjust it, it stops beeping and I go back to sleep. Finally on the 3rd time it started beeping again and sat straight up and forcefully shoved my finger with the pulse ox on it towards my eye to inspect it... WHAT THE HELL, it's on, it's in position this makes no sense, why is it beeping. I throw myself back on the bed and just say "whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy". I put my hand on my chest and try to sleep again. Zzzzzzz beep beep zzzzz beep beep beep beep. This time I sit up again and grab the machine next to my bed and force it up against my bed rails and stare at the numbers... why are you beeping you stupid @sshole?! The pulse ox was reading 93% and flashing... ok, what does that mean? I know I'm breathing and feel fine! So I call my nurse and tell her whats going on... "ooooo your pulse ox goes down when you're sleeping... were you trying to sleep?" ummmm.... it was probably 1:30am, I was definitely trying trying to sleep. She came in my room and adjust the median to 90%. I suspiciously laid back back down and eventually fell asleep. I got woken up at 5am by my Nurse for my next dose of Meds. Again, I try to play it cool like I wasn't just snoring with my eyes rolled in the back of my head, my mouth wide open and slober coming out. She told me the Resident Doc was here already and he would be by to see me around 7am. 6:50am comes and in walks the very young Dr. R to discuss things... I had to ask him to hold on.... I mean I'm ASLEEP. What are we even talking about right now? I was in that distorted state still where I felt like he could have been a serial killer ready to cut my achilles tendon or something. I even caught myself trying to fix my ponytail. As if having a perfect messy bun would make up for the smeared mascara around my eyes, and dried slober crust on my chin. He said he ordered another u/s and a tech would be up within an hour to rescan me. If all was the same, I could leave once Dr. M assessed me one more time. If it was worse... I'd probably be in another night.

If I wasn't so damned tired I would have been really nervous about the scan. I laid back down and remember the u/s tech trying to wake me up 15mins later. Here we go again... I shoot up in the bed, tell her good morning and ask her what the weather's like. Really? Does it even matter at 7:15am? Then I catch myself falling back into the bed and going back to asleep... "ashley, dear, I need to do your scan. I'm sure you'd like to pee before we get started... ok?!?" I say "yes'm" as if I'm responding to my mom when she's waking me up for school, but keep sleeping. I saw myself get up and go into the bathroom, but all reality was that I was still in the bed with my eyes shut. It didn't last long before the tech started to get her machine together in the most noisy way possible. I get it... I'm up! I go to the bathroom, pee and freshen up as much as possible. In the hospital lights I look like I Jaundice or something, not a good look.

She looks at the babies first. They were wide awake! They looked great as usual. Hearbeats, fluid, kidneys, bladder, etc :) Then she did the trans vaginal u/s and measured. Still the same. .9cm or might as well just say 9mm. She called Dr. M to see if I could get dressed or if he wanted to check me. He looked at her scans remotely and confirmed. I got dressed and laid back in the bed. I've had a lot going on and tools already fishing around inside my hotbox all before 7:30am. I wish all my days were that productive. The tech powered down the machine and wished me luck. She also said "I'm sorry you have to get so many trans vaginal ultrasounds. I saw your chart, you've had at least one a week for the last 9 weeks". I told her thanks and that it was ok because I don't mind it. She kinda looked at me weird and instantly felt like a perv. That's not what I meant... but now I'm embarrassed and hope she doesn't have to scan me again! I meant I don't mind the checks bc I'd rather know what's going on with my body... not the "action" I'm getting once a week from the wand. Although action once a week would be nice, just not that kind. Here I go again. This just sounds really bad.

All in all the stay was ok... It started off fine and optimistic until Thursday morning. I think I'm still holding up pretty well. I had a mini cry fest in the Hospital when I was alone, but it felt good to get it out. I'm not even sure why I was crying. Maybe it's better that way. Since I've been home things are good. I don't "feel great" but I'm hanging in there. We've almost made it 10weeks since we first got the news. I have a lot to grateful for!!!

xoxo

Beebs keeping me company!