At 7am the shift changed and I got a new nurse, who came complete with two little boys. Ok they weren't little boys, they were young men and nursing students. She asked if it was ok they shadowed and helped her. I always say yes... people have to learn somewhere! They might not end up in L&D but they still need to know it all. After talking with them I realized a couple moms didn't want them in their rooms. That sucks. They saw me breastfeed, my stretched belly, incision and checked me for bleeding & removed my catheter. Not my most glorious moments, but owell.
A few hours later I noticed that Mila was making these "grunting/whimpering" noises that the Nursery Nurse told me about the day prior. I held her, fed her, did skin to skin and she kept doing it. I told my nurse and she looked over and said she seemed fine, but to do skin to skin for 25+ mins and see if that helped... it didn't. She kept the noises... so she called the Pediatrician and she came and took a look. She thought she sounded a little labored so they took her down to the nursery to examine her. She was brought back shortly after and the pedi said she ordered an xray to look at her lungs. Ugh. Instantly upset... I started having thoughts when Ava had pneumonia last November. I know xrays don't physically hurt you, but its just an overwhelming experience to see your baby so vulnerable. I asked the pedi where we had to go and she said for us to just stay tight, that the x-ray tech would come to us and it would be very soon. No sooner than she left the room did the tech arrived. It was actually less scary than what Ava went through and she just laid on the board inside her isolate. A few snaps and the tech left.
About 20mins later the pedi came back in and said that Mila still had a lot of fluid still in her lungs... she said that if she were only a few hours old this wouldn't be a problem, but since she was over 24hrs old it worried her and she would need to be sent to the NICU for closer monitoring. I kinda felt numb... I was relieved that overall they were pretty healthy despite being 4w early, but I was sad bc I thought we were in the clear. I would have expected this immediately after their birth, but not the next day. I had prepared myself for a NICU stay despite the fact that their ultrasounds were all great, but then once I was told the NICU team left soon after they were born, my "preparedness" went away. This was around 2pm. We were told it would take about an hour for her to get settled into her own room and once she was ready they would allow us to come over. I of course called down to the NICU line at 3pm on the dot... she wasn't ready, they had an emergency and they were still getting her situated. They asked me to call back in 30mins. So I did... still not ready, this time they advised they were having troubles getting the IV into her tiny little veins. The thought of my little baby getting poked numerous times immediately churned my stomach. They asked me to call back around 4:30pm. I did and they told me they were still working on getting the IV's in and that they blew the veins in her arms, hands and foot and they will have to try her scalp. I was warned that meant they would have to shave her hair. That part didn't bother me, but again, the thought of this tiny little one day old baby being poked so many times broke my heart. I never mind having blood taken or getting IV's, but I've had two veins blow before when entering a pic (?) line and that shit HURTS.
They told us they were almost done and that we could head down. I was feeling sad and started to cry a little and went into the bathroom to clean myself up before we went down. Ironically my dad/stepmom showed up at that exact moment. So here I am in the bathroom trying to pull myself together. Between the stomach pain of the csection, effects of the Percocet & news of Mila it was hard to regroup. So they got to meet Lola & spend some time with her. A few mins later, my mom, Beebs & Swiss all came as well. So we left my mom, sis and Ava behind in the room and my Dad & Stepmom (aka Evil Step Mom-- ESM, inside joke with her lol) walked down to the NICU with Marc & I to go see Mila. When we got to the check in, the receptionist said we couldn't go back yet bc Mila wasn't ready... I got snappy. I blame it on the hormones and the thoughts of what Mila was going through... I told her it wasn't acceptable and that I was told an hour, then 30mins, then 30mins and then I was told she was ready and I just want to see my daughter. I know it wasn't her fault, she's just the messenger and I never did get to apologize and I feel bad about that. Now it seems they couldn't get the IV in her scalp either :( So they were now doing a procedure through her belly button... what the heck. I immediately started crying. Marcellus tried to console and I could tell my Dad & ESM felt helpless... here they are wanting to meet their new grandchildren and I'm a mess. Finally a nurse came out and said we could wait in Mila's room.
I love Aultman Hospital... I also love their NICU. It's not just one big room lined with Isolates, it is a bunch of smaller hospital rooms with couches, rockers & TV's inside with your child which is their OWN ROOM. It is beyond comfortable and even though they have the big enclosed isolate that looks like a space ship, you don't feel like you're in a "scary place". We sat in there and talked... for awhile. Finally our nurse came in from Mila's "procedure". She said that they were still trying to get the line into her belly... once they get it in they have to do an x-ray to make sure it didn't enter her Liver. They have to go in 10ml, any further and they are in the liver, any shorter and it could slip out. After waiting awhile we decided to go back to my room so my parents could visit with Lola. After all it would be awhile before Mila would be ready for us and I decided that I only wanted Marc to be in the room with me when we saw her for the first time because I wasn't sure what to expect to see...
We got back to the room and I was so happy to see Ava & Lola but really sad that we were missing a part of our family... even though she was down the hall I felt like Mila was so far away. My gf Lyne is a NICU RN in Austin so of course I was texting her and she was easing my mind. I'm so lucky to have so many brilliant nurses just a text away!
A little before 9pm our guests all left for the night. We soon got the call that Mila was ready. That they were feeding her (through a tube) & we could come down. Hubs pushed me in the wheelchair and pulled Lola in the isolate down to the Nursery. We got to Mila's room and there she was... The word that immediately came to mind was "pathetic"... I mean she LOOKED great and beautiful, but the front of her hair was shaved immaculately straight across (kinda like a Lebron James hairline), a tiny tube, smaller than a strand of spaghetti looped in through her nose, taped to her cheek, 2 little tiny stickers with hearts on them connected to more wires, tiny blood bruises already forming on the tops of her hands, foot, arm creases and scalp where the failed IV's were and then the line into her belly button that was covered in tape. Hubs said... Wow, that's a lot of tape, that's going to hurt coming off. He was so right. On top of everything else, once she gets better they have to take all that stuff off. The bigger picture was that she was in good hands... the Nurse told us that it took two tries to the line into her belly... two times they got it into the Liver, which obviously is not good, so the 2nd time they pulled it back a little and it was fine. They said she was doing really well and was a really easy baby. That they fed her and she adjusted well to the tube feeding.
We sat in there for about an hour and I started getting incredibly exhausted. Hubs was starving so he ran to grab some food. I stayed behind with Mila for a little bit longer talking to her. While I was in there another baby was going through something scary... A loud alarm sounded, his mom ran out into the hall and started to get hysterical screaming for her nurse and crying uncontrollably, all the nurses ran to the babies room and started to work on him/her. As if this isn't scary enough, here is a mom in an obviously bad situation. I felt so horrible for her and I started to stress about Mila. Although we were in a great place, it was still a place for babies that weren't feeling well. I prayed for her and her baby... I don't know their story, their names, or even how they are today, but I pray that baby & mom are both doing well.
I texted Marc that I just couldn't do this... I didn't feel strong enough. Even though our nurse assured me that these measure for Mila were just a "pre caution" you get a different feeling when you're in there. The doc stopped to talk to us and said that they think she possibly had an infection and that she would be there until Sunday at the earliest. They had to wait for the Blood Cultures to come back and that could take 48hrs. I kept wondering if it was bc I was GBS+, but I had a c-section, so that should have helped. I decided I needed to go back to the room. I said some prayers and said good night to Mila. A nurse wheeled me back to the room just as Marc came back. He was staying the night this time, especially bc all that was going on with Mila. We went down to the nursery to say goodnight to Lola. Soon after getting back to the room, I was passed out.
I slept well... I'll thank the Percocet & Motrin. We got up & went to visit Mila. The nurse said she had a great night!! She handled the antibiotics well & ate like a Champ. Her opinion was that she would be 100% fine :) We had them bring Lola back from the Nursery and we spent all morning snuggling with her hoping to bring her sister back. I just kept thinking I hope she goes home with us tomorrow... I can't leave my baby behind! Around lunch time we got great news that Mila would be coming back to our room around 1-2pm!! Everything looked great and she would be fine, the fluid in her lungs was starting to dwindle. This was unexpected yet very welcomed news! Hubs went to grab some lunch while I ate in my room. My stepsister came to visit so she walked down with me to go see Mila. I walked behind my wheelchair and it felt good to be mobile. She looked beautiful! All of her tubes, wires and monitors were already off! The nurse was giving her a bottle also!! She gave me Mila so I could finish feeding her. After 5ml she fell asleep... the nurse said that wasn't good enough and she was too comfortable. She showed me that if I fed her away from my body she wouldn't be as cozy and will wake up to eat. She sat her on my thigh and the only thing touching her was my left hand holding her up, right hand giving her the bottle and her legs/bottom resting on my thigh. I felt like this was so impersonal, but it worked. She downed 15ml more! The things you learn :) We hung out a little longer and then it was time for me to pump and feed Lola (they are on the same schedule). I remembered at this point that a highschool friend of mine Ellen, had sent us a NICU "care package" a few weeks prior in case the girls had a NICU stay. She has founded her own Non-Profit called "Socks for Surgery". It's an amazing charity where you can request NICU items and everything is donated and you receive them for free. I'll post some pics below. When babies/children are in the NICU or go in for surgery usually they only thing they can keep with them are their socks... so she customizes them and makes them something that is "theirs" to keep in the hospital with them.
A nurse walked with me back to my room and about an hour later Mila came!!!! We were so happy to have our family back :) It was just the 4 of us for a little bit and we were so happy, all we needed was Ava. The rest of the stay is starting to be a blur since it's been awhile since we've been back and I thought I could remember the details but its proven to be pretty hard at this point! I will say... if you have a catheter inserted, make sure you remember to unhook it from your bed before you get up and walk around... YIKES. Also, I had no idea that besides "what's your pain number" that "have you passed gas yet" would be a top question by all my nurses. The first time I was asked I said "I'm sure I have..." the nurse said, I need to know for sure and believe me you will know. You need to walk around more to get a fart out. Ummm, ok... I'll work on that immediately! I told her I had a pain up near my right shoulder, kinda like a shooting pain that hurt when I would inhale... she said it was a GAS PAIN!!!! Isn't that crazy?! So far away from my butt. That pain was enough for me to get up and start walking right then and there... I had a couple almost farts. I felt it coming and I didn't want to push or strain but I tried to help ease it out and then it would get lost back inside me. I had no idea that trying to fart post c-section would be so difficult. Finally around 3pm Sat ( I know this is out of order) I passed gas. I was so excited I wrote it on the marked up dry erase board so that all my nurses would know in case I wasn't in the room. I'm so glad they didn't make me have a bowel movement first, because that took about 1 week...
We got to leave Sunday around 2pm... we bundled up our two new daughters and headed back to my Mom's. Hubs didn't drive near as slow as he did with Ava (I'll throw the 2nd/3rd child syndrome out there now, this comes in handy in future blog posts lol). We arrived to my moms and she had 2 cute "its a girl" sign outside waiting for us with pink balloons. They also had our rock n plays setup with pink comfy blankets, decorations and even a glitter "L" & "M" on the rock n plays. We actually still have them up. It helps people determine who is who without having to do physical checks lol.
Ava was asleep when we got back so we were able to get situated. When she woke up, our family was complete and she just kept kissing her sisters... So glad to have our family together again and all I needed to do at this point was be able to walk and stand without pain!
So thankful for healthy children... maybe I over reacted a little with Mila in the NICU, but at the time you have no idea what is going on. You're being told your 1 day old can have an infection that could keep her in the hospital 10days or longer. There are a million and one thoughts racing through your mind especially when you see all the other babies in there that are so tiny. My cousin Grant was a 27w NICU baby and he is now a 2yr old (in july) healthy happy toddler! Prayers work!!!
xo
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